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solomon levi
09-03-2012, 10:04 PM
I experienced last night an initiation of sorts. It's very subjective and personal event
which seems to have far greater significance. Anyway, I'll just describe it and you can
judge and comment. Maybe I'll write a more detailed blog about it some time.

So crucible is also cross, crucifixion, etc. This initiation is very much like transmuting
the "sins" of the world, the scape-goat, sacrifice, etc... but I experienced it on both
personal and transpersonal levels. In one way I was welcoming all the disease and pain
of all people and life. Some of this was very specific diseases or ailments of people I know
or have been meeting and doing healing with. To a different extreme, I was experiencing
having to be the force/strength that holds atoms and nuclei together, and if I failed to be
strong enough they would explode, and creation along with them. From an atomic level,
as above so below, I experienced containing a cancer and not letting it spread to other organs...
fire, air, water and earth... all the elements were in a storm trying to tear me apart, physically
and astrally. I not only shared the pain of humans, but of elements, atoms and the earth itself.
You'd be amazed at the exchange of energy... a mother absorbs a lot of it for the family - she
is a natural magician capable of transmutation to varying degrees. The family dog takes on the
stress and tries to transmute it as well. The dog waits for a tranformer that is stronger than itself
to pass the energy to, a magician, an awakened being. The cycle of alchemical circulations may
then continue.
What became a little overwhelming was that once i started taking on these energies, everything
became aware of it and began to give me its burden. It was really odd having the earth ask me
to help it. But in this instance, I was a consciousness even as great as the planet, able to take on
some of its burden/pain. It also seemed related to "2012" and being able to take on a greater
energy in order to pass through the wormhole/event horizon.
But it isn't 2012; it isn't 0 A.D.; it is happening all the time - it's individual and subjective, and probably
can be made to have an objective effect upon the collective conscious.

solomon levi
09-03-2012, 10:12 PM
There was an additional alchemical nature to this shamanic experience. The yin and yang
nature of everything, but in this healing process, I experienced it as "thank you" and "you're welcome".
"You're welcome" = all sins/burdens are welcome here, within me, without judgement.
"Thank you" = an appreciation for everyone giving me their toxins and pains, and giving me the opportunity
to heal/transmute them into a higher energy.

So all this stuff just kept coming on to me from everywhere and I just couldn't bear to refuse any
of it. The sacrifice is truly happy and grateful on the way to her/his death. So my constant mantra
in order to maintain my integrity throughout all this stress was to keep repeating and feeling
"thank you", "you're welcome". And that is the flux of the universe.

Krisztian
09-03-2012, 10:51 PM
Sounds like a sacred and highly personal experience! You must have been in the right frame of mind, for the experience to evolve so beautifully. Nice of you to share, that's why I enjoy this Forum.

III
10-09-2012, 08:21 PM
There was an additional alchemical nature to this shamanic experience. The yin and yang
nature of everything, but in this healing process, I experienced it as "thank you" and "you're welcome".
"You're welcome" = all sins/burdens are welcome here, within me, without judgement.
"Thank you" = an appreciation for everyone giving me their toxins and pains, and giving me the opportunity
to heal/transmute them into a higher energy.

So all this stuff just kept coming on to me from everywhere and I just couldn't bear to refuse any
of it. The sacrifice is truly happy and grateful on the way to her/his death. So my constant mantra
in order to maintain my integrity throughout all this stress was to keep repeating and feeling
"thank you", "you're welcome". And that is the flux of the universe.

Hi Solomon,

E.J. Gold speaks of the experience of "ascending the cross" in a number of publications. An interesting book he wrote is THE JOY OF SACRIFICE. Also, THE HIDDEN WORK gives an invocation for Prayer Absolute and discusses it's practice. Perhaps you would find these informative.

solomon levi
10-09-2012, 11:15 PM
Yes, thank you III! Very synchronistic.
But then I was just about to write a thread on how subjective synchronicities are -
everything is already synchronous!
And yet magic/magician is intentional synchronisation of the astral motor of yin and yang, stalkers and dreamers, etc.
If this writing seems mystical I'm a little high right now.

Anyway. I really like that you resonate with the joy of sacrifice in some way. I feel you.
Sorry. There's a lot of magic happening now.
I think I need to quarantine the genie/spirit.
But I love you III. :)

III
10-13-2012, 06:26 AM
Hi Solomon,

Here we are learning to "die before we die" as EJ put it. Welcome.

People who can't make the sacrifice are trapped here until they can make the necessary sacrifice for liberation. Accepting the sacrifice allows the other to be unlocked. Or at least that is one way it might be said. And of course we each get to play all the parts eventually.


I experienced it as "thank you" and "you're welcome". "You're welcome" = all sins/burdens are welcome here, within me, without judgement. Thank you" = an appreciation for everyone giving me their toxins and pains, and giving me the opportunity to heal/transmute them into a higher energy.

So all this stuff just kept coming on to me from everywhere and I just couldn't bear to refuse any of it. The sacrifice is truly happy and grateful on the way to her/his death. So my constant mantra in order to maintain my integrity throughout all this stress was to keep repeating and feeling "thank you", "you're welcome". And that is the flux of the universe.

For a person to receive Shaktipat, a person has to be able to make their sacrifice and receive the inflow of LOVE that replaces it. Some people need a lot of intensive close work to be able to do that.

Anyway. I really like that you resonate with the joy of sacrifice in some way. I feel you. Sorry. There's a lot of magic happening now.

Nothing to be sorry about at all. The magic has been so thick and hot the past 2 months it about blows me away.

BE IN LOVE

solomon levi
10-15-2012, 11:12 AM
Thanks III.
I'm going to write a thread on the hourglass that I think will explain/expound alot.
I think you'll relate. It also explains sexual alchemy well IMO. And "thank you"/"you're welcome".

solomon levi
03-04-2013, 01:30 PM
I still have these experiences, usually not as intense, and often more specified...
like I watched a short film on chinese fur makers where they strip the fur off these
animals while many are still alive. I cried for a half hour - a small sacrifice. But I picked up
a lot of experience from these "others", these human beings that are supposed to be human
beings like me, but with such thoughtlessness of other forms of life. I had to expand myself
to encompass/include them, cause I wanted to reject them, exclude them from myself.

There are those who walk paths of exclusion... those who want only good, only health,
only love... but for me, my insights into what a christ is... has to include everyone. This requires
an unconditional "love" or inclusiveness - you are me and I am you. We all know the schism
self-judgement creates in ourselves... the same is created when we judge others. What enormous
mind/heart can love the ignorance and cruelty of this world? I believe we all have to answer
that question - "mine. I can." Any resistance to that will tear you apart in the end, literally.
If you understand spirituality as integration/wholeness, you must realise the cohesive force,
the integrating force, is "love"/inclusion/acceptance. The disintegrating force is judgement, negation,
separateness, division, rejection... this is obviously where we are, experiencing a world of separate "things",
individuals, "particles"/matter instead of waves/energy. The more inclusive one becomes, the more
intuitive, psychic, sympathetic, energetic one becomes.

Anyway, I see myself as a healer a lot lately. Even a sin eater. We often think we are better than others,
better than those ignorant people that torture animals, for instance... but you should know that that idea
of betterness is exactly why they don't consider the animals. YOU have to change for them, to initiate it.
We can talk all day about christs and messiahs, but you can die for their sins NOW, by which I mean
YOU, the separate self, can die, can be the inclusive Self, now, and IT WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
It's the difference everyone is waiting for... be the change you wish to see in the world. It's not a future
difference; it's a difference you feel as soon as you integrate it. I feel so much peace compared to when
I first watched that fur video. Some of you will hate that... see my peace as acceptance. IT IS! You won't
have peace until the world changes. That is not my method. You can see yourself as a product of the world,
or you can see the world is a product of you. Both are subjectively true/real/capable of being experienced.
But changing the world is not nearly as proactive as changing yourself.
This is not a christ complex, an egocentric fantasy, masochism or whatever... it's simple consciousness.
But simplicity is so rare these days. Love is the path of least resistance. We go out of our way to judge others
when we identify with ego-separateness. If only you could see the enormous burden of your thoughts. Do you
imagine you can resist forever? What if your judgement of the chinese fur workers felt like having your skin
removed while you're alive? It felt like that to me, on some level. Why not? Why don't we feel others like our own
skin? You can. But who wants to? Who wants to die for someone else's sins? Not the separate ego-self.
Thus I have called this "crucible"/crucifixion initiation.

There was a recent argument in the "messiah" thread about how silly it is to imagine that we aren't separate...
"if I stub my toe, you don't feel it", or something like that. Really? You don't feel happy when your beloved
feels happy? Sad when they feel sad? You want to watch the video of the dogs getting their fur ripped off
and tell me you don't feel anything? You feel something. If it is not the same as them, that only indicates one's
sensitivity, one's sympathy, one's integration. That you feel something tells you it can be honed, emphasized,
just like any other talent one dedicates oneself to. It is the judgement that doesn't let you feel. Of course I wouldn't
expect anyone who believes in dualism as a religious system to feel one with others. Beliefs are judgements.
Beliefs do not allow integration... especially belief in dualism:

"Typically, Gnostic systems are loosely described as being "dualistic" in nature, meaning that they have the view that the world
consists of or is explicable as two fundamental entities. Hans Jonas writes: "The cardinal feature of gnostic thought is the radical
dualism that governs the relation of God and world, and correspondingly that of man and world.""
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gnosticism

Personally, I've read lots of gnostic material. Some of it does enforce this dualism, but also some is more
alchemical in that it transmutes the dualism. To me, that is the whole point of the Sofia "myth" and the Christ "myth".
Both are crucible initiates.

I've been integrating and focussing on oneness for a couple years now. There are real changes that come with it
(as real as any separateness is real). I can focus on a stranger crossing the street and merge with them, actually
feel their life, their personality, their relationships, their happinesses and sorrows, in an instant. I am not the same
person I was when I believed in my separateness. I am far more patient and far less judgemental. I am not saying
those are qualities everyone should try to possess. They are side effects of love, not goals in themselves. I've said
before, this is where religion comes up short - they try to imitate the qualities and characteristics of enlightened
beings without being enlightened, which often leads to more schisms - be good, don't steal, share with others,
be patient... these are not goals in themselves. They come effortlessly/naturally to those who love. Without love,
they are foreign, and it's natural to fight them. Many paths teach of discipline, training the mind and body, etc.
I disagree with that as well. By "disagree" I mean it is not simple/direct. It's fine if you prefer the long, indirect,
linear path. Everything's fine. Do what you will. I'm just sharing my experience here. I'm not claiming to be ideal.
Ideal is relative. It's tempting to think, "this is unnecessary... you're doing it wrong/incorrect/the long, hard way, etc."
Everyone is doing the best they can. Follow yourself. :)