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zoas23
10-22-2012, 10:47 PM
Something very funny happened to me today.

I wanted to buy lamps for growing plants indoor. It was for my Bonsais! So I went to several shops to check different lamps. ALL the shop employees I talked with, assumed that "Bonsai" was a code word I was using for "Marihuana"... So they all talked to me saying "Bonsai" instead of "Marihuana" and gave me tips about how to grow "Bonsais", but meaning Marihuana.

Indeed, the guy from whom I finally bought the lamps told me that it was a good idea to place the "Bonsais" in the closet and cover the internal walls of the closet with mirrors, that I was going to get more flowers from the "Bonsais".

LOL... I finally had to pretend that I was actually going to grow Marihuana, because the whole Bonsai thing was impossible to believe for this person... who simply assumed that everyone that buys lamps for growing plants indoor is going to grow Marihuana.

Oh... so then I remembered that something somehow similar happens to me each time I go to a shop in which they sell glassware for labs. In most of the shops they ask a lot of questions... and it's mostly impossible to say that they are going to be used for "alchemical" or "spagyric" experiments, because it sounds too bizarre and unbeliebable... So you always have to invent something that somehows makes sense.

What do you say in those situations at the shops?

Andro
10-22-2012, 11:05 PM
What do you say in those situations at the shops?

There is a wholesale warehouse of everything lab related (glassware, incubators, filters, in short pretty much everything that does not need to be custom made).

This is where I do my shopping.

My initial impact technique was to blast them/overdose them with the truth of what I doing, including assertive talk about Astrology (telling the owners some basics about their signs), Shamanism, Alchemy, Plant Elixirs, powerful medicines, Philosophy, etc... Basically using everything I have, to distract them from everything else... This conveniently put me in their 'weird, possibly crazy/genius/both but nevertheless harmless (as in not making drugs)' characterization box. Now they'll sell me anything, including controlled substances (Di-Ethyl Ether, etc...).

The background story needs to be wide-scoped and coherent, while at the same time aiming to build a less formal and more personal relationship with the store owners.

Of course, one would need my unbeatable rhetoric, my disarming conversation strategy and my overwhelming charisma to accomplish this :) :) :)

It's all about first impressions... If you can't convince them - confuse them. And I don't believe that convincing anyone of anything is even possible, so only one alternative left :)

LOL

I know what you're talking about... Excellent topic, BTW... I'm sure many Alchemists are facing the issue of 'What To Say At Shops'.

I'd love to hear other stories!

Ghislain
10-23-2012, 05:28 AM
On the lab ware issue just ask if it is suitable for cooking meth-amphetamines :)

The best lamps I have found are mecury bulbs for growth and sodium bulbs for flowering (250W)...These give off heat too
best reflective surface for indoor plant light is matt finish paint (preferably white) as this reflects the light in all directions...
a lot of people think a highly reflective surface such as tin foil or mirrors are good but they are very directional and not
as efficient as matt.

we are still talking about Marijuana aren't we?

;)

Ghislain

zoas23
10-23-2012, 02:52 PM
There is a wholesale warehouse of everything lab related (glassware, incubators, filters, in short pretty much everything that does not need to be custom made).

This is where I do my shopping.

My initial impact technique was to blast them/overdose them with the truth of what I doing, including assertive talk about Astrology (telling the owners some basics about their signs), Shamanism, Alchemy, Plant Elixirs, powerful medicines, Philosophy, etc... Basically using everything I have, to distract them from everything else... This conveniently put me in their 'weird, possibly crazy/genius/both but nevertheless harmless (as in not making drugs)' characterization box. Now they'll sell me anything, including controlled substances (Di-Ethyl Ether, etc...).

The background story needs to be wide-scoped and coherent, while at the same time aiming to build a less formal and more personal relationship with the store owners.

Of course, one would need my unbeatable rhetoric, my disarming conversation strategy and my overwhelming charisma to accomplish this :) :) :)

It's all about first impressions... If you can't convince them - confuse them. And I don't believe that convincing anyone of anything is even possible, so only one alternative left :)

LOL

I know what you're talking about... Excellent topic, BTW... I'm sure many Alchemists are facing the issue of 'What To Say At Shops'.

I'd love to hear other stories!

LOL!

I am to shy to use your technique.

AND.... I once had to face the opposite experience, that is facing a glassware shop empoyeee who decided to blast me/overdose me with the truth of what I was doing!!!!!!

It was in a a big shop, but the area for the clients in very small and it was crowded that day.

I wanted to find something close to an aludel (I hadn't seeen Markos' post explaining how he uses a chromatography reservoir yet... which is an idea that rocks! ).

Anyway... I got into the shop and I described what I wanted (without using the word "aludel", of course) and asked if they had something similar. I mostly explained the "shape" of the thng I needed, said nothing about why I wanted it.

The shop employee loooked at me smiling and said: "Why do you want such thing?".

I simply answered "doesn't matter, something with some herbs".... a very vague answer.

So the shop employee replied to me something very close to: "Oh... OK... you are working with alchemy and you want to get the sulphur of some plant and you are trying to get an aludel, which of course isn't sold here or in any other glassware shop, but don't worry... if you have two heating mantles and a cooler, then you can use two standard flasks, each one of them placed in a different heating mantle, unite the two of them with a glass tube, the second one has to have a second glass tube that goes to the cooler... the cooler goes to another flask that collects the sulphur. The wine spirit or the water goes in the first flask, I don't know which one of these two you are going to use, the second flask has the plants that you want to use to extract the sulphur... and this way of doing it will work better than an aludel, which is not something that alchemists should use nowadays... Let me draw the device for you". And she decided to draw the whole thing.
Her tone showed me that it was a person who didn't have much respect for spagyric or alchemy... probably a girl who studied alchemy for some time, then chemistry and then became an employee of that shop.

Needless to say that EVERYONE at the shop was looking at me... and the whole thing became very embarassing. I blushed and felt very much like when you go to a drug store and the employee almost shouts to you: "How many condoms are you buying?" and everyone looks at you!

Well, my face got very red as a tomato and I picked up the drawing that the employee did for me and whispered "thank you".... and left the shop almost running in shame.

LOL... I have returned to that shop for time to time, that employee still works there. Each time I go there I see her face looking at me with an "I know what you are doing... " attitude. LOL... she scares me!

__________________________________________________ ________________

Another weird experience I had:

I bought a collection of used glassware in a local version of eBay. It was incredibly cheap. I payed something close to $200 dollars... what I received had a value of more or less $5000 to $10,000 dollars if it was new. It was really a once-in-a-lifetime offer (I really don't think I will ever find an offer like that one again in my whole life).

The seller was a man in his 70's. His house was very big, decorated with a lot of medieval imaginery (specially swords, he had a huge collection; he also had a huge collection of wooden crosses -maybe something like 300 of them, it didn't make much sense) he mostly wanted to get rid of all his glassware and was not interested at all in making money.
He asked me what I was going to do with the glassware, I was with my GF... we looked at each other and I said: "liquor... we are going to make liquor".
The man smiled and liked the answer... so he brought even more glassware and said: "well, I have these other things, I'm giving everything I have to the two of you".

Nothing made any kind of sense. It was very much like buying a ferrari for $1,000 and finding that the sellers wants to also give you a Porsche and a Rolls Royce for free.

So we asked what was going on. He laughed and said that he had a lab at his house and he had an accident there and almost brunt down the house, so his wife got mad at him and told him to get rid of everything.... and he said that his wife was more important for him than his glassware. So we asked: "Are you a chemist?".

He said: "No.... err... I had this lab for... making liquor!".

LOL... it became very obvious that he was working with alchemy too... and "making liquor" became the "code word" in that situation. It was very funny because he was looking at us with a face of "I know what you are doing and it's not liquor" and we were looking at him with a "we know what you are doing and it's not liquor either" face in return... but the three of us felt comfortable saying we were "making liquor".

I think he was very happy of giving his whole lab to the two of us.... other people who were going to use it too for "making liquor" :p just like him, instead of a chemist... and was happy to know that his things were going to be used in a way he appreciated.
That one was a very nice experience.


On the lab ware issue just ask if it is suitable for cooking meth-amphetamines :)

The best lamps I have found are mecury bulbs for growth and sodium bulbs for flowering (250W)...These give off heat too
best reflective surface for indoor plant light is matt finish paint (preferably white) as this reflects the light in all directions...
a lot of people think a highly reflective surface such as tin foil or mirrors are good but they are very directional and not
as efficient as matt.

we are still talking about Marijuana aren't we?
Ghislain

LOL!

I decided to go with a different option: led lamps for indoor plants that have only the right frequencies needed to grow plants. They produce no heat, they consume 12 watts instead of 250 watts... and they last longer and don't make the house shine as if it was a solarium.

Here's my plants, they are still very small and it will take some years to make them look really good, but I like them!

http://imageshack.us/a/img5/2451/bonsaid.jpg

LEGALIZE IT ! :p

thoth
10-23-2012, 06:14 PM
Wow Zoas, it's like the Universe really was giving you the green light for your chosen path, with such a treasure trove.

When I first started in the lab side, I was in the supermarket at the checkout buying 7 litres of vodka, for distilling down for tinctures, and as it happened certain other"items" you might use at the weekend. The "items" had a security tag which the assistant couldn't get off so she was waving them at girl on next checkout " Mary how do do you get the tag off these things". Meanwhile I saw one of the neighbours nearby loading her trolley, and was thing can you hurry up before she joins the queue.... When I was paying the checkout girl gives that look as with a big thought bubble above her head "well are you gonna have yourself a busy weekend"

guthrie
11-06-2012, 10:20 PM
I haven't had any such entertaining experiences.

Historically it has been a bit of a problem. From The Breviary of Thomas Charnock:


But if he say unto you, Good Master myne,
Tell me for what purpose or what engine
Shall these Vessels serve that thou cause me to make,
For all my life hitherto I dare undertake
I never formed such, nor the like of them;
Yet are they but plaine without wrinkle or hem,
One within another, it is a pretty feate,
The third without them to guide up the heate:
Then say unto him to satisfie his minde,
That ye have a Father which is somewhat blinde,
Who if it please God you will indeavor,
To stil a water his blindnes to diffever:
Which is the Elixir of lyfe as wise men say,
And in this doing God send me my pray;
The will he will say this or the like,
I pray God to send yee that which you seeke,
And thus with the Potter thou hast now done,

http://www.levity.com/alchemy/tcbbrev.html


Then with a Joyner thou must Condescend,
Who also must have this Councell and writt,
To make a Tabernacle the Vessell to fitt;
Which wilbe also in greate doubt,
For what purpose it will serve about;
In that he never made nor framed none such,
Although it be made like to a Hutch:
Then tell him a Tale of a roasted Horse,
Unto the which he will have no remorse:
And laugh and say it is a Borrough for a Fox,
Although it be made sure with Keys and locke,
And thus with a Joyner thou hast made an end,
Whithout thou set it on fire as I did mine.

Of course he was more interested in secrecy.

MarkostheGnostic
11-14-2012, 01:20 AM
Thanks for the acknowledgement, but I got the aludel idea from Manfred Junius' book, Spagyrics: The Alchemical Preparation of Medicinal Essences, Tinctures, and Elixirs . The only story I can offer, is where I had some kind of law enforcement officer come to my residential consulting room/study for hypnotherapy. He never told me what agency he belonged to (FBI, ATF, ICE, etc.), but my small labware setup is in the same room. He looked at it and I commented, "Don't worry, it's not a meth lab." He said he could tell by looking. I tell other clients that it is an essential oil extraction set-up, which is true, and that I'm interested in using scent to evoke deep memories from the unconscious. This has been well-received by some on-line labware companies, some of the sellers have evidenced interest in that explanation. :)

Goldlion973
06-24-2013, 01:36 PM
Hmmmm... have taken to buying stuff online, can't find many physical shops here in London, even then with the current trend word being, "TERRORIST!" I'm happy avoiding, or trying to avoid any scrutiny. Somewhat dangerous times out there if you're likely to be mistaken for being Muslem... would rather be accused of "making liquor".

Andro
06-24-2013, 01:43 PM
Hmmmm... have taken to buying stuff online, can't find many physical shops here in London, even then with the current trend word being, "TERRORIST!" I'm happy avoiding, or trying to avoid any scrutiny. Somewhat dangerous times out there if you're likely to be mistaken for being Muslem... would rather be accused of "making liquor".

Hi GoldLion,

I don't know about the UK, but in some countries you can actually register with the police as someone who purchases lab equipment for whatever purpose (which should have some 'legal' credibility).

Then they won't bother you, the logic being that a 'criminal' would never register with the 'authorities'.

This has worked very well for some people.

Goldlion973
06-24-2013, 02:05 PM
... interesting, am looking into it now, will post back if I find anything. Was at one point considering wearing a bold t-shirt stating, " I'm not Muslem!" just in-case .lol.

Krisztian
06-24-2013, 02:14 PM
What do you say in those situations at the shops?


I'm happy avoiding, or trying to avoid any scrutiny.

My methods have always been the same, be as natural about it as possible. Remember, thought has volition and the state we carry into situations has its own merits. It may be that you're meant to meet another by your purchases, open new doors so to speak.

Goldlion973
06-24-2013, 02:29 PM
Seems as though there's no authority residing over amateur chemists in the UK, can't seem to find much other than some scary stories. Poignant as I was calcining some herbs over night in my garden, left the pot on top of a portable gas hob, tend to leave it on all night as the can will run out and I can collect it in the morning... woke to a helicopter buzzing around last week, must've seemed a bit strange to them.

If anyone has info on how you can register with the fed to avoid their scrutiny and risk of ending up in Guantanamo it'd be great.

Goldlion973
06-24-2013, 02:30 PM
To add my two cents worth, I do usually say that I study herbal medicine if people ask, have an allotment plot and am quite young so what I'm up to is usually a question on the tip of peoples tounge.