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View Full Version : Alchemical Process of my life thus far



Electric Wizard
01-13-2013, 06:36 PM
It seems to have happened on its own:

Two years ago, beginning with calcination:
Adderall withdrawels, fits of rage, moodswings, eventual suicide attempt, more living in a homeless shelter with my mother for few weeks, before ending in placement for a year. Feelings from Salvia may have also been calcination-like- feelings of fiery crumbling, as if I were made of stone, fusion with a fiery energy feeling, etc.

Dissolution: School year after a 12 month calcination in New Hampshire. After moving back to FL, the school year is depressing as all hell. I have to make up credits early in the morning for extra classes every day. Eating an angel trumpet leads to three months of intense depression before the poisons wore off my system.

Seperation: Seemed short, quick, precise, not overly painful. I seperated from my home/family, lived in a trailer park and kept myself busy reading and doing my satanic ritual stuff.

Conjunction: Did some LSD, female and male aspects brought into synchronocity, outside synchronocities occur, no longer 'shy', confident, much more open about my own sexuality.

Fermentation: The greatest euophoria that lasted during the month of the LSD trial has worn off, but I feel the benefits lasting. I'm seeking my answers in faith, looking for dark Luciferic gods of isolate consciousness. A deep recognition of feelings, spawned by rather interesting females I'm meeting and other aiding factors. Seeing my heretical desire to destroy shit through sorcery more as a means to justice (indeed, Satan was not originally a figure of evil, but the 'judger' of men. Current goal is to give this New Hampshire move a second try, because I realized that after a year I STILL HATE FLORIDA.

This has all happened in two years. Sound like a proper analysis of whats gone on?

Ilos
01-13-2013, 07:30 PM
The more I seem to be open minded the more I become stubborn.
Life tries to shape you with this big hammer striking straight in your heart
and its I who I should stand up and say, NO NO you cant break me up
Don't be deceived cus in the end its all light that we feel
know yourself from deep in your soul look through find your spirit see it, its pure
God bless life good or bad cus in the end as above so below, all is one and one is all ;)

Krisztian
01-13-2013, 08:21 PM
This has all happened in two years. Sound like a proper analysis of whats gone on?

It does. Thank you for sharing so bravely and I must say, so openly.

As you know, to materialize a place of joy, in a city, or in a State, one needs to bring about an inner rest, an acceptance of self as is. Then, the joy of life finds oneself much easier.

Electric Wizard
01-13-2013, 08:40 PM
It does. Thank you for sharing so bravely and I must say, so openly.

As you know, to materialize a place of joy, in a city, or in a State, one needs to bring about an inner rest, an acceptance of self as is. Then, the joy of life finds oneself much easier.
I really feel though, that, my inward tendency to crave leanings toward severity and mercy should possibly be given another look. The symbols of the satanic paradigm are somewhat inadequate. I really just want to get my crusade tabard and go on a journey right now. I could slay a few bandits and giants on the way. But my magick needs to grow.

LostGnosticOccultum
01-14-2013, 08:56 PM
My inward tendency to crave leanings toward severity and mercy should possibly be given another look. The symbols of the satanic paradigm are somewhat inadequate.
Yes the Satanic method is inadequate, in the end GOD will be the winner no matter how much we here on earth attempt to change that. Although "Satin" is "just" in his goal, which is to make everything return to the void from whence it came, his ego ruins the goal, thus because he acts out of anger, resentment, jealousy, and malice he will fail.
What you so desperately seek is peace, silence, joy, and mostly love; you will never find this in the "Dark Methods," trust me I've tried. The only true way to find these things is to release yourself from the burdens that you have bought for yourself by holding to anger, resentment, malice, and pure hate. See the Christians were not wrong, however they are not complete. The Life style of a TRUE Christian will bring this peace, joy, and love you wish to find, BUT don't expect it to happen over night and don't expect to not find opposition from the world for living a righteous life for it will come. If you don't wish to follow the Christian path I would then recommend either the Muslim, or Buddhist Path(s).


I really just want to get my crusade tabard and go on a journey right now... Do not move to the lifestyle of the destroyer but the forgiver and the life giver, "Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them? " -Abraham Lincoln. Be Good to those who have wronged you and think positively and your life will begging to be better. Meditate, quiet your mind and the things of this physical reality will not affect you as much because you will not focus on them, and they will not be important in the grand scale of Unity that you will become aware of.


My magick needs to grow.
No, your Magick needs to grow to be more pure and from the light, shoot, you can even become a "Grey Magickinan."

Here's a good instructional PDF for "Grey Magickians"
http://poderesunidosstudio.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/donald-michael-kraig-modern-magick.pdf I prefer the Third Edition, as that is the copy I use, however I couldn't find that copy in pdf format...

GOD Bless and Good Luck, LGO