View Full Version : Change of heart and things I never would think would cause it...

Electric Wizard
04-24-2013, 08:08 PM
Last night was a mission.

My disgusting human filth brute pig of a roomate got me some mushrooms last night- I had a handful of my money's worth and everybody else could only afford baby nibbles. My roomate was trying to get my friend Paige drunk so his stupid obsessed and psychotic friend can fuck her intoxicated, and expecting me to be unaware and in nowhere land tripping on mushrooms while it happened.

I never did mushrooms in my life. Neither did any of us, but very quickly, I applied the guillotine to the situation.

I'm not an evil person. I don't want to be anymore. Last night was a test of my heart- and I passed. The end of my fermentation did see the peacock's tail, and it may have been the bright, multitude of colors displayed by the many options of a new journey in the backdrop of The Fool. My roomate the whole time was a dark reflection of juggernaut domineering aggression I wish I could be, but in the end a paladin like zeal to protect two intensely tripping girls (and sit, and manage, and keep track of everything they were doing, reminding my friend Paige to keep my pepper spray on her, etc) is all that mattered to me, and no rape was going to be allowed to happen. I got her in safe hands after some shit started when my roomate said a guy paige wanted over couldn't come over. I told him he had no say, and when 4 of us returned from getting him, he didn't say a word as to the situation of letting people in and played dumb.

He tried to exploit my trip, thinking I couldn't handle, thinking that because of my small size I was a lightweight, and fate gave the the willpower to bring the alchemical death guillotine to the situation, after all the rot.

If I'm correct, when people were argueing about the guy coming over, Paige in her trip reportedly felt my rage seethe off, and she knew I was going to get fucking serious if things needed to get out of hand. Perhaps this is the 'heat added to the solution of fermentation' which speeds the process.

My view is changed. That night I left the apartment and today I'm declared moved out. My roomate has no money to pay rent and I'm just waiting for his eviction before coming back in. Electricity is turning off today too.

He's going to ferment in the pit he built for himself.

I would tolerate no rape, no abuse, on these two women I had a duty for. If things would've broke out, I would've brought down in cleaves my Sabre (the name of my pepper spray brand). Last night my heart was challenged, and I passed. I'm not in the pit of Evil or LHP anymore and at this point, I'm differentiating between options.
Later, I sat in the one peculiar place in the house- where my bed had once been, a very comfortable cotton cushion armed chair (floor level, it looked like it was made for meditation), I knew what had to be done for a little as my trip faded, and saw in the shadows of my old ritual room in the night- a glance of purple hooded figures standing in a circle, and looking back at me. They seemed as if they 'were just letting me know they were there'. (purple is a theme of synchronocities by the way lately).

I realized that, the trip revealed to me what tarot said it would- the World, the end. And than the Fool inevitably happened next as I saw the peacock's tail. And I'm still seeing peacock references in numerous places - tv, facebook, my mind...

solomon levi
04-25-2013, 02:02 AM
<3 I'm sorry and happy to hear this. Sorry you weren't able to let go with the mushrooms, happy you protected your friends.
Thanks for being courageous. However much of a god I am, I bless you brother, from my most encompassing view.

Donna Matrix
04-26-2013, 08:15 PM
Dear Electric Wizard
I am old enough to be your mother, and I am 5 foot nothing. I am a force to be reckoned with. I can slice a mans dick off with a glance, but that in fact is nothing. It is not real power. Violence is only temporary power, wielded by the truly weak. However, when the moment is there, we must all be warriors. You proved yourself to be a noble warrior. Thank You for your nobility, courage and determination to do the right thing, even under the influence. Such chivalry is a virtue in today's men.
The path of alchemy seems to me not to be about mind altering psychadelics and spiritualist phenemenon but about every day grounded decisions to live a virtuous life, there by proving oneself worthy of the wisdom. You very well may have passed a test of your will.

Blessed Be Noble Wizard!