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Awani
02-03-2016, 03:36 AM
Why have a ticking clock in your home or on your wrist? If you really want to know the time you can easily find out, but why have it there in your face… why hear it ticking away in the sacred peace that is supposed to be your domain… your home...

Your home is not the office, the bar or the factory… the home is a physical manifestation of who you are. I have noticed that many people furnish their house in such a way so it is pleasing and convenient for guests, but how often do we have guests?

The home should be set up in such a way that it pleases you most when you are alone in it (or alone with your family). In fact everything in your life should be set up in such a way that it please you the most, because the more pleased you are the happier you become. And the happier you are the happier you seem to be to others. And happiness is very infectious.

http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h18/deviadah/forum/12417820_504170459765775_5592553499061804347_n_zps b95p1zlm.jpg

Everyday I work.
Everyday I find myself in the office.
I have a career to tend to.
I am not in a factory.
Nor am I in a bakery.
I am not a politician.
I do not run a business.
I do not sell anything.
My work is to love.
First I love myself.
Then I love the place I find myself in.
Then I love those I find there.
And as I love them, they begin to love me…
And by loving me I love myself.
And so the circle is complete.

:cool:

JinRaTensei
02-03-2016, 12:50 PM
Interesting topic which speaks directly to my oppinions of life :).

working is always servitude
stillness is always peace
so still your mind work for your heart and serve only peace.

Do what you love and you wonīt work a day in your life.

For example each time I leave the house for anything I pick up a little random stone from the ground.This then becomes my stone and I keep them and wash them.Each full lunar at night I toss them in a nearby river and with that each month begins and ends for me.
there is no time or exact dates for me my month ends and starts with me.there are no days but just increasing numbers of stones.Each time I leave the appartment the only thing of importance in the world is finding a random stone.If I find one (I always do ^^) the day is a success if I ever wonīt my biggest worries will be finding a stone the next day.This is my work the most important physical task of my life, friends/family/job/etc are bonus thereby not of any importance for my life which is why I can enjoy them without worries or the usual resentment of everyday life.
the world may crumble and "god" may judge me but the only thing which I can control with certainty is that no matter how the weather everyday I will find a random stone.
And as long as the world has stones and rubble I shall have the breath to collect them...this is my sense of time and work o0

zoas23
02-04-2016, 05:56 AM
I have a similar habit with stones, though I don't pick one every day... only when I find one I like.
I have a HUGE collection of stones, most of them have a value of $0...
I specially like the ones that look like something else (i.e, I have a big collection of stones that naturally look like a heart).

Another good habit is purchasing art from artists who work with hermetic symbolism... most people thinks that purchasing art is a luxury, but nowadays it isn't. There's plenty of artists who work with a hermetic symbolism who sell their works for a very affordable cost. It is VERY nice to have art created by others and see how different views interact.

When it comes to art, I hate seeing reproductions or posters hanging on the walls... it's misunderstanding what art is. I like Rembrandt and I can't afford a painting by him, but a book with his paintings is something that anyone can buy... just don't hang a poster with a reproduction of his paintings!

I love having guests, but it's always friends or strangers... and they come to my world, my house... when I host guests I simply give them a single rule: eating meat in the house is not allowed, we don't need that energy here... anything else is fine.

Last, but not least, I LOVE sharing the house with my girlfriend... that's what I enjoy the most... I simply like the experience of sharing everything with her, listening with her to the most crazy experimental music (which is what we love) till we become houses:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPg87tgTuhM

JinRaTensei
02-06-2016, 02:33 PM
@zoas23 yeah I also look for and keep the stones which I find interesting(no monetary value obv).I like very white and ver black stones with as less impurities as possible the most,kinda like "go stones" of the board game.
I think I can relate to your view on art.The only reason I never had problems with copies of art or even cheaper posters is because I never considerd them precious or of any importance.But with the art and objects I do care about they become like some form of talisman to me.As in I interpret special properties and relations toward these objects and therefor they are unique and one of a kind...buying a talisman somewhere would be as ridiculous as buying a child in a store to me.the process of buying for money or reproducing/copying is a devalueation in itself and I assume your views on art are of similar nature.
My only rule is to respect my appartement like you would respect me(allthough my flat is absol. nothing special) which gives you a fairly good basis to know what people truly think about you...anyone can smile and be nice for a couple of sentences but to behave respectful a whole evening is something which will only happen if someone respects you subconciously.
Last but not least I am happy for you mate, a girlfriend which truly resonates with you is rare(even more so considering interests in fringe matters like alchemy).
I have to chuckle each time I think about my soulmate somewhere out there because if she (please let it be a woman ^^ ) is truly my soulmate we will never meet each other because we just donīt care enough to go looking so I assume my soulmate is thinking the same right now and is chuckling as well ^^.We are much hotter in our imaginations anyway XD.
What I also truely love is finding old and strange shit in rivers and nature and I like to collect objects/plants/bones etc which to me seem to exude some kind of mystic or special energy.
Is your girlfriend also an alchemical enthusiast if yes that would be really awesome just thinking about the things in alchemy for which a partner is required like tantra,telepathy,dream walking(guided hypnosis) rituals,etc etc.
I dont even mention these topics to most girls I meet because only thing worse than outright rejection is fake interest ^^

Kiorionis
02-06-2016, 03:44 PM
I've had construction jobs in which I've been able to be down 10-20 feet beneath the surface of the Earth. It's quite interesting to see the different gradients and qualities of the earth. The understanding I've obtained from this study is far more valuable to me than the money I've made while working.

Here's a perfect example of what is common in the mineral kingdom:
http://crivitzconstruction.com/uploads/2/8/2/4/2824650/3465715.jpg

I like to compare this type of thing to human anatomy as well:
http://image.slidesharecdn.com/group1-integumentarysystem-140802125442-phpapp02/95/comparative-anatomy-integumentary-system-8-638.jpg?cb=1406985006

And what do you know, it also exists within the plant kingdom:
http://www2.estrellamountain.edu/faculty/farabee/BIOBK/leafstru.gif



The home should be set up in such a way that it pleases you most when you are alone in it (or alone with your family).

:)

Awani
02-06-2016, 05:52 PM
LOL, this topic went into a completly new area... thought about splitting it but then NO... it's fine as it is. :)

I know Ghislain (http://forum.alchemyforums.com/member.php?186-Ghislain) collects stones and places them in different parts of the world.

:cool:

zoas23
02-06-2016, 07:05 PM
@zoas23 yeah I also look for and keep the stones which I find interesting(no monetary value obv).I like very white and ver black stones with as less impurities as possible the most,kinda like "go stones" of the board game.
I think I can relate to your view on art.The only reason I never had problems with copies of art or even cheaper posters is because I never considerd them precious or of any importance.But with the art and objects I do care about they become like some form of talisman to me.As in I interpret special properties and relations toward these objects and therefor they are unique and one of a kind...buying a talisman somewhere would be as ridiculous as buying a child in a store to me.the process of buying for money or reproducing/copying is a devalueation in itself and I assume your views on art are of similar nature.
My only rule is to respect my appartement like you would respect me(allthough my flat is absol. nothing special) which gives you a fairly good basis to know what people truly think about you...anyone can smile and be nice for a couple of sentences but to behave respectful a whole evening is something which will only happen if someone respects you subconciously.
Last but not least I am happy for you mate, a girlfriend which truly resonates with you is rare(even more so considering interests in fringe matters like alchemy).
I have to chuckle each time I think about my soulmate somewhere out there because if she (please let it be a woman ^^ ) is truly my soulmate we will never meet each other because we just donīt care enough to go looking so I assume my soulmate is thinking the same right now and is chuckling as well ^^.We are much hotter in our imaginations anyway XD.
What I also truely love is finding old and strange shit in rivers and nature and I like to collect objects/plants/bones etc which to me seem to exude some kind of mystic or special energy.
Is your girlfriend also an alchemical enthusiast if yes that would be really awesome just thinking about the things in alchemy for which a partner is required like tantra,telepathy,dream walking(guided hypnosis) rituals,etc etc.
I dont even mention these topics to most girls I meet because only thing worse than outright rejection is fake interest ^^

I don't know if our views on art are the same. I actually give art a "talismanic" value.
Except that I don't buy "literal" talismans... but paintings, I do (I also receive them as gifts sometimes because I host artists quite often for free).

When it comes to rocks... we can take a walk together, we won't fight for the rocks because I think we like different ones! ;)
I like Bonsais a lot... and, you know, a good Bonsai is the one that looks very "impure" and "damaged"... the Japanese have an expression for it: "Mono no aware" ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mono_no_aware ), which means "The pathos of things". I like the rocks which look broken, with sharp edges, damaged by the weather... very much like when you find a sick cat and you bring it home to heal him because he looks that he's not gonna make it by himself.

Girlfriend: I've been VERY lucky.
She is a person who loves art and experimental music, but also free jazz... and mostly she's like an encyclopedia of music. Just let her listen to a song and she'll say: "Oh, this was recorded by Coltrane in 1961, I love the bass, it's Steve Davis playing, he also recorded an album with Freddie McCoy in 1967, "Peas 'n' Rice"". So my friends who are musicians often "kidnap" her during our meetings.

I'm the third person in a row that she dates and has a lab. In all the cases she was already in a relationship before even knowing that the other person had a lab and was working with alchemy. It wasn't a conscious decision from her... but that's how she started to get interested in alchemy (her case, in that sense, is incredibly strange... because there's not many labs here... and she was not looking for it at all).

THis opinion can be controversial, but I think that having a partner (male, female or whatever you prefer) is VERY important.

My girlfriend used to be a British singer who was mostly involved in the occult music scene... one day she went to an Asian country to practice some form of Buddhism for 15 days and she sent me a message saying: "after 15 days of meditation in silence I discovered that I have to be on my own, so it's over". That's the last thing I heard from her... Later that night I was invited to an occult art performance that was inspired by Gnosticism. I was meant to do some stuff with incense, but I was feeling like shit...
And then I saw a girl playing the sax like a maniac, I couldn't stop watching her. She was incredibly beautiful, we were some 30 "performers" and she had clearly become the center of attention.

When the performance finished I waited at the door and someone said: "We have to go", another person said: "but we have to wait for the wife of Gregorio"... so she showed up and these guys left. I assumed she was the wife of someone called "Gregorio".

5 months later I was invited to a second performance, organized by the same person... this time the performance was inspired by the Elu Cohen rite of Martinism (which was an odd idea for me, since I knew that most of the performers had no idea of what the Elu Cohen rite is about).

I invited a friend who is initiated in the Elu Cohen rite to the performance, though I told him: "this is gonna be weird, most of the performers don't even know that the performance is about the Elu Cohen rite, they don't even know what it is". He laughed and said: "It doesn't matter... a friend of mine that you don't know is crazy for you. She wants to meet you. She's your soulmate, you are simply going to say "hello" and both of you will already be in love instantly. She's taller than you, but it doesn't matter".

I told him that I do not like tall women and that I have this type of "introductions". He said: "Shut up! TRust me, you'll fall in love tonight with this tall girl".

When I arrived to the performance, my friend was already there and told me: "I'm sorry, my friend didn't dare to come, she got shy". I told him that it didn't matter.

So we began with the performance that wanted to be like a pseudo-initiation of the audience into the first grade of the Elu Cohen rite, though I must say that it didn't make any kind of sense and it was mostly chaotic. The girl with the sax was there again and I was hypnotized by her again...

During the performance I saw her leaving the sax and walking to the microphone and she started to sing with a beautiful voice: "Under the violet light of the mysteries, the philosophers who know nothing. Under the violet light of the mysteries, the philosophers who know nothing. Under the violet light of the mysteries, the philosophers who know nothing!".

When the performance finished and the audience had left, we were making order at the museum... I suddenly felt a finger touching my leg where there's a tattoo inspired by the Golden Chain of Homer... I turned around and it was her. She simply said: "nice tattoo"... and then walked to the patio of the museum. It was raining. I walked to the patio too, following her. She said: "You were on your own yesterday at the Mueran Humanos concert, I wanted to say 'hello' to you, but I didn't dare to do it".

It was this concert:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJzAgZl9ZNM

I asked her if she was the wife of Gregorio. She laughed and said: "I am not married and I don't even know any Gregorio". I laughed and said: "I don't know any Gregorio either".

I told her that she didn't need to be shy, that she should have said "hello" at the concert, that I am short-sighted and I didn't see her. She explained me that she didn't say "hello" mostly because she thought that I would not know who is she, because we had only seen each other once and we had not introduced ourselves.

I explained her that I perfectly remembered her from the previous performance... and then I told her that I liked a lot her song about the violet light. She looked at me with a serious face and said: "Did you get what I meant?". I told her that I didn't.

She said: "It was a protest, because this performance was a pretentious bullshit... we have this cool violet light and all our strange clothes, but there's no content here, no spirituality, there's simply a general lack of knowledge filled with nonsense".

Then she added: "I know you, I saw the articles and essays you wrote, I have them... I like how you write". I blushed. I also noticed that she was taller than me.

Finally she said: "I have to leave, it was a pleasure to talk to you".

I was madly in love.

When I returned home I wrote her an e-mail... I had her e-mail because we had created an e-mail list to organize the performance. I told her how much I enjoyed listening to her playing the sax. She wrote back saying that she's very shy, but that when she plays the sax she's no longer shy... and that she felt as if she was the Angel of the Final Judgement playing her trumpet. I loved the metaphor. She also wrote that she was going to print my e-mail and buy a box to store it with some essays she had that I had written... that's she often very lonely and the box would make her feel that she had something of worth.
I wrote back explaining her that it was nice to be stored in her box, but that maybe she didn't need to put me in a box as if I was going to escape somewhere, that is would be better if I was next to her. She asked what I meant... so I simply replied with a song and no words...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jDeac-YfXao

I wrote later that I would like to invite her to my house.
She said that she was too shy for such thing, that she would not even dare to speak and that she was afraid that I could judge her for such thing or think that she's silly.

I explained her that I was not inviting her to judge her or to check if I liked her, that she had nothing to demonstrate, that it was not a text or an exam... that she didn't need to do anything to have me, that she already had me.

I phoned my friend and laughing I told him: "you were absolutely right about the tall girl and the idea that I was going to fall in love that night with her... you simply got confused about who is the person!". That was funny for me, everything that my friend said happened exactly as he said... the description of the person perfectly matched too... it's just that it was not her friend.

When she arrived home she was red as a tomato and trembling, incredibly nervous. She looked at her bag and said, "I brought this CD for you, it's called 'Sun Ship' and it's by Coltrane... I like him a lot and this one is about the Sun and you remind me of the sun... do you like Coltrane? I don't know if you like Coltrane, maybe you don't and my gift doesn't make sense, but I didn't know what to give you as a gift".

I simply kissed her and said: "I don't know much about Coltrane, but you will teach me to love him as much as I love you... we have the rest of our lives to do such thing".

She hugged me and said: "At last I feel at home, I don't mean the place, but you..."

I said: "You are my home" and I kissed her again.

I do believe that my real home is a person, it is her.

I wrote all this stuff because you said: "my soulmate, we will never meet each other because we just donīt care enough to go looking so I assume my soulmate is thinking the same right now and is chuckling as well"...

My controversial idea: you can have all the rocks you want, you can have the pholosopher's stone, the potable gold, paint the walls of your house with the spiritus mundi and the whole of the paintings by Rembrandt at your house because after making so much gold you became able to buy them...

... but if you do not give yourself the chance to find that infamous soulmate, then all that stuff is worth nothing.

I love the tale of Cyliani... I mostly love it because without caring if the "wife" is a symbol or not (I do believe it's both things), the whole of his works is dedicated to her... and maybe the BIG mystery of the tale is not what was the substance that he had in his 2 flasks, but the reason he had to go through all that burden... He mostly wanted to give her the "perfect gift"... I got Coltrane's Sun Ship and it was as worthy as the Philosopher's Stone.

A person who likes the same stones that you like and can walk next to you finding with you some of your future mutual stones... do not be so silly as to exclude yourself from that experience, it is probably 1,000 times more "alchemical" than anything that anyone has ever done in a flask.

THis is my definition of home, perfectly described:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX4Ic80qlFU

Andro
02-06-2016, 08:11 PM
LOL, this topic went into a completely new area... thought about splitting it but then NO... it's fine as it is. :)

I'm renaming it 'Work of Life'...

You can always change it back if you want to, as is your OP birthright :)

JinRaTensei
02-07-2016, 02:24 PM
@zoas23

that was/is one intense story ^^.Maybe because I generally am not that kind of long relations guy it feels a little bit akward reading some of the more detailed nuiances of your tale of fate,but very impressive and beautiful nonetheless!Thank you for sharing and I truely am not closed to anything like finding my soulmate it is just that I could not appreciate or enjoy or care with/for them at this point of my journey.I am the kind of guy who rather loves to experience adventure alone mostly and come home to my loved ones to share there adventures with me and I mine with them.Rather than experiencing the adventure of life together.Although offcourse I many nights wish for a real relationship there are just much more nights where I am happy to progress and experience everything without boundaries.Not that women or relationships are burdens in any way it is just that ANY human interaction will always give you interaction and change of perception/perspektive in some way but will also always take away from your ability to introspect and do "the great work".seclusion and companionship are equally important opposites and I believe every one of us can be very lucky if they know the right time for each in their life and act accordingly.

As to actually contributing something to the topic ^^.I always approached life and my desire for the "fringe" from a psychological perspective and as such have studied psychology in germany after graduation.Before and during my college days I played poker to earn a living.I play mostly online but also attend big events in the real world.
I coach,have written dissertations etc and played more than 10 million poker hands,ten tousands of tournaments and hundreds of cheap home rounds for the cost of some cooled beers and snacks.^^
Although I dont make really much often it is enough to actually not really work in any way.My work days start at about 8pm/20:00 due to the time difference of us/asian players which make up 70% of my "feeding ground".If I dont want to work I dont,no work day really matters except for sundays which are the big money days in poker with which each regular player rises or falls.

The reason why I love poker is because in my opinion poker is the most brutal and honest form of any legal capitalism on the world.It is not even like stock trading because in poker there is no middleman.You play just for money and just with money no stocks no bonds just money.Each dollar you earn someone else must loose.In poker there is ABSOLUTE no mercy or kindness or at least not for long before you have lost all.This is true honesty,everybody knows and exspects this playing poker and the biggest online poker site makes 300 million $ PROFIT quarterly.The worse the economy the more money and people flood into the pokerspheres of this world.
And in this fighting pit only does survive and thrive who have an advantage over others due to their intelligence or effort or special perspective there is NO LUCK in longterm success.It is beautiful how simplistic and yet unreachable deep the level of "mindgames" is and most pros are geniuses in iq and other aspects of life,(I am not considerd pro just regular).Considering that a chess game has nearly endless possibilities to enfold on a fixed board with 6 different figures and poker is played with 52 different figures/cards NO open information about the opponents figures/hand (unless you achieve it through observation) one can easy imagine that no two poker tournaments in history have ever been the exact same and the level of "metagame/thinking" one has to use to stay afloat.Of all poker players worldwide only about 7% can live from it and even the best players of the world canīt continue more than 20%-30% winrate in the long run (30% being already absolutely insane high meaning of 1000 tournaments making 300 in the money not even first place).
Before I played poker on a regular base I played counterstrike in the highest leagues of europe and nationalteam of germany and was earning about 500$ a month(not much but as a 16 year old for playing all night with your best real life friends was pretty awesome ^^). And before that I played Magic the Gathering tournaments in the entire country and made pocketmoney selling the rewards.(about 50$ a month at the age of 12-13,again nice for the time). During that time I also played football,table tennis and athletics(100m short distance sprint being my forte of choice).#

So I guess I always loved to compete with others and find ways to get money without actually working ^^.Which is the reason for me having the time for alchemy and my other desires.
I often wish I could have a steady job and income like others (some months are tough) but I have come to know myself quite well and sadly I know even if I gave it my all I couldnīt do an office/regular job for more than a year...and I often tried.It is something worse than death to me,it drains my spirit even thinkinf about getting up in the morning not of my own accord to work for some asshole who doesnīt give a shit and feels entitled to your respect but not vise versa...and sure there are good jobs and there are some decent bosses/ceo out there...but a good job AND a good boss is already laying it thin but than enough pay and free time and doing what you actually enjoy doing and you loose them almost all sooner or later ^^

Awani
02-07-2016, 05:21 PM
zoas23: thanks for that :)


The reason why I love poker is because in my opinion poker is the most brutal and honest form of any legal capitalism on the world..

Aha, a fellow gambler. When you understand that this life is a game the gambling becomes very easy. ;) I used to make a living as a professional Black Jack player... but that was in my "underground" days... don't do it anymore... although once in a while (not even every year, very rare) I can "hit" the Casino and rip them off. ;)

If you ever are in Amsterdam we can do a poker game and later some mind exploration. LOL! Reading your post you are probably a better poker player than me, but I prefer to play with "better" players... that is how you get better. If you want to make money I play with worse players. ;)

:cool:

JinRaTensei
02-07-2016, 06:20 PM
@dev
haha nice, and here I thought my respect for you couldnīt grow anymore ^^.although(as any regular gambler ^^)I donīt view poker AND blackjack as gambling I do however consider myself as gambler.And as such I know/have known many gamblers in my life and most of them have certain character traits in common.Most gamblers also are "daredevils",reckless and selfdestructive on the negative side but courageous,spontaneous and risk takers on the positive side...so you may have left your underground days but your underground days can never leave you ^^.Also I found that most gamblers are quite open to fringe topics in general.Maybe it is like you said that gamblers tend to take life not that seriously and therefor have no problems exploring aspects of life which others would have to give serious consideration even trying it once...life is a coin toss :) so the moment the coin is spinning in the air there is nothing you can do,just let go observe and accept.

Amsterdam with you sounds amazing and if I left amsterdam after such a trip we would have made something wrong if I even had a single euro left in my pockets XD.
Since I am a regular player in poker I obv have more experience BUT that wonīt make me the better player necessarily.If you play with someone for the first time you have no prior reads/tells/statistically correct moves to employ before gaining insight into the persons way of thinking and way of behaving.So it comes down to who can better observe and focus...and I hardly doubt that I would outdo you in that aspect :).But then again if we both would have similar observation and focus skills my experience would give me the lead because I have certain patterns and causalities already saved in my subconcious.But then again you coming from blackjack your math and statistical analysing skills will be far better than mine.(donīt even know the exact percentages for most actions because I am very strong in the psychology department and only ever ask 2 questions,does he/she have me beat and what would it take for the other person to drop his hand or pay me maximum).For instance online,in contrary to anyone I know or have ever read about I just watch the way and the amount of time the nickname of a player blinks and can determine how strong his resolve is in a certain situation.Players are never told to hide/fake their reactiontimes because the thought of someone actually exploiting this seems like bedtime stories which has created a wonderful nische for me which canīt be easily reproduced without years of study and observation...the only reason I am able to make a living since I neither have the math skills nor the disciplin for constant focus or the monetary ressources/connections of others. But than again in "reading people" on and off the tables on and offline I luckily could develop some quite deep reaching skillsets o0.

Btw I donīt know if you care/like the medium manga but if you ever had the heart of a gambler I would deeply encourage you to read or watch the mangabooks or animetvshow called "kaiji" "liar game" and "deathnote".They are anime made for an adult audience and DONT focus on particular games like poker,blackjack etc but what it truely means to be a gambler, not just gamble.Some of the before mentioned titles has the main protagonist gamble for his life with awesome mindgames and intelligence against others and all the excitement/downfalls/betrayal of others like kaiji.liar game is the most detailed and well thought out mindgame/gambling series in the world in all mediums it will give you a deep appreciation of intelligence and motivate you to see the endless possibilities in life.As for deathnote it is the only serious with an supernatural touch but the epicness of the mindgames and storytelling has made it to the worldwide most appreciated and recommended title of all time.

Please dont get me wrong not trying to give you the nerd speech and if its not your cup of tea absolutely no problem but if you ever want some entertainment in the mindgame/gambling section there are simply no movies,shows or books out there which are more inspiring/more intelligent and believe me I have alost seen/read them all post 1990 ^^.

Awani
02-07-2016, 06:27 PM
Oh I have watched Anime for decades. I prefer the work of Miyazaki... watched those 20 years before they started turning up in Europe. For many years I had to print transcripts in English to just understand what the hell was being said because I don't speak Japanese. But those films work even without the language. They piss on Disney.

Deathnote I have seen as well...

There are a two important rules I have learned regarding gambling:

1. never play with money you need
2. don't count your money at the table, there will be plenty of time to count them when you get home

As for poker I tend to be one of those players that play almost every hand... quite aggressive... although heads-up I am much more reserved... playing every hand then is not as effective. I like chess as well but not very good... and that is mainly because I play so rarely.

But I hate the casino world. It is so fucking dark. The energy of all those lost souls in there. I almost pity them. When I used to go there it was never for fun, it was work. I have seen some dark shit... people ruining their lives. It's pretty evil in a way. But I like to go into hell and come out untouched... without even a sunburn. ;)

:cool:

JinRaTensei
02-07-2016, 07:18 PM
@ dev

wow miyazaki is a legend although I usually watch series and not movies who in the western and asian world has not at least seen one of his movies.
Manga and anime are what saved me growing up.The general eastern/asian view on life/integrity/morals and values was my haven when I started to see the western world for what it mostly is.It was at the age of 12 and because of a manga that I vowed to never doubt myself in anything ever again and that I will find/achieve the mysteries hidden in plain sight.Without manga/anime I would be just another sheep not that I am better now but at least I know that I know nothing to quote one of the big thinkers of greece.


It's pretty evil in a way. But I like to go into hell and come out untouched... without even a sunburn

that is so exactly on the spot!I also feel/see that casino/gambling/poker in itself is evil.I have no illusions in that regard and although I have no regrets "tricking" others out of their money I can see/feel how I have become colder,more distant and less empathetic over the years...if you stare at an abyss the abyss will stare back at you.Still although poker is evil universally on a personal level it means material freedom which I value higher than the downside.
I also hope to one day be able just to hit a couple of big tournaments a year in vacation resorts like the bahamas or directly in the sun/outside like for instance in sydney.Only the bottom feeders have to sit in dark casino hell holes or stare at their computer almost every night for hours without end.

So maybe in my case it is not that I can ascend untouched but that I already have been touched enough in the past to know that I am not evil nor wish to be wish is why I actually donīt fear darkness but like it as much as the light so to say.

The style of playing poker you mention is called loose aggressive and very common.Paradoxily it is the exact opposite of which you would exspect a former blackjack player to play.Because blackjack is more math and less psychology than poker and therefor most blackjack players play poker in a mathematically correct way which is never loose aggressive but the opposite called solid tight.If you play many hands(like I myself also do) then you will be focusing more on psychology than math.Therefor just by that I can see that you value your own intelligence quite highly,you dont really like chess because it has a fixed outcome and is just learning patterns and you like to compete or rather to depend on your own skills rather than on a group.Btw I have played about 30k-50k chessgames online in my life,just because I never have or will learn any moves or patterns and just take it as some sort of puzzle never considering more than 3 moves in advance but mostly the correct ones which to me makes it interesting again.

BTW not wanting to lecture in any way,who am I to do such things^^, but in poker it is actually the exact opposite if you want to win money you have to play the headsup more aggressive/more hands than you play normally! If you donīt I would recommend plaing slightly less hands before and more in late game/headsup.
The reason being simple.Everything in poker is about edge(advantage against others).the less players in a game the more edge counts because the player with the edge will have more situations where he can dominate.Headsup is the form of poker/time in a game where the edge/domination is the biggest.So the more hands you play the more money you can exploit.If lets say you are 5% better than your opponent and you play 100 hands instead of 50 obviously you will win double(in the long run) vice versa if your opponent is 5% better than you....you would loose double)

so the general rule in poker is(like you mentioned before when you play for money) always play players weaker than you and try to play as many hands as possible with them which goes hand in hand with an old poker saying: sitting down at a table if after 10 minutes you canīt determine the weak/loosing players than you yourself are the loosing player and should leave as fast as possible ^^

zoas23
02-07-2016, 08:33 PM
@zoas23

that was/is one intense story ^^.Maybe because I generally am not that kind of long relations guy it feels a little bit akward reading some of the more detailed nuiances of your tale of fate,but very impressive and beautiful nonetheless!Thank you for sharing and I truely am not closed to anything like finding my soulmate it is just that I could not appreciate or enjoy or care with/for them at this point of my journey.I am the kind of guy who rather loves to experience adventure alone mostly and come home to my loved ones to share there adventures with me and I mine with them.Rather than experiencing the adventure of life together.Although of course I many nights wish for a real relationship there are just much more nights where I am happy to progress and experience everything without boundaries.Not that women or relationships are burdens in any way it is just that ANY human interaction will always give you interaction and change of perception/perspektive in some way but will also always take away from your ability to introspect and do "the great work".seclusion and companionship are equally important opposites and I believe every one of us can be very lucky if they know the right time for each in their life and act accordingly.

I know it it akward, since I am exposing myself in a complete way.

In the same way that a big part of your life has been related to gambling, a big part of my life has been related to Hermetic Orders*... many of them, probably more than what is usual for the ones who get involved with a few. I probably enjoy having different points of view which sometimes apparently contradict each other.

*My general rule is that I only get involved with Order which are not authoritarian and, specially, ONLY Orders who accept both men and women giving them equal rights, but they also have to be Orders that accept gays and lesbians and persons of any ethnicity... I want nothing with fascist idiots preaching about how women or gays or blacks or jews are like untermensch... I have zero tolerance for that bullshit.
Same thing for intrusive Orders that preach about how the sexuality of a person should be or try to convince their members that his partner should be involved in the same Order or they will reduce their "Spiritual Evolution" (of course they won't reduce their spiritual evolution, but probably their IQ for having such stupid ideas).

The only BAD thing I've seen in them is that several persons involved with them get an idea that is incredibly wrong for me: they get "married" to an Order or to what they consider is the "Great Spiritual Work".

In several of them I arrived to the "high grades", I don't know if it's because of a special talent, it's probably because I began when I was very young and I am very persistent. In some of them I became the main initiator in my area... though I am far from believing that being part of an Order makes anyone special and I give zero importance to "grades", I don't ever use the word "profane" to refer to persons who are not involved in a specific order (that's bullshit too).

Why I am telling all this stuff?

In one of those Orders where I became the main initiator, the final grade involves, among other issues, giving a ring with some symbols which somehow resume the whole of the "journey". I am the person in charge of giving that ring.

Each time I give it, I see the same reaction:

The new owners of the ring put it in their ring finger of the left hand. I always know that such thing is going to happen.

So I ask them WHY they have chosen that specific finger which is typically used for other type of rings (wedding rings) and I explain them that they have 10 fingers, that they can choose any of them.

I often get the same reply: that they choose the ring finger of the left hand as a way to express their absolute commitment to the path they have chosen and the Egregore of the Tradition. Since this stuff happens in a grade where the "Master" and the "Student" become 100% equals and there's no more teachings to offer, I use that opportunity to give my final opinion:

"You have 10 fingers, by choosing the finger that is traditionally used for marriage rings you are symbolically getting married to an Order or a spiritual path... and that's really a very sad choice. Sooner or later you will find a partner. Do not ever let an Order or a spiritual path get between the most important Egregore that you can experience whilst you are alive, which is the Egregore that exists between two lovers that completely give themselves to the other one. No Order, no spiritual path and nothing else should become a placebo that replaces that experience... and what you are receiving is nothing when you compare it to that experience. Please consider that situation and think if you REALLY want to have that ring there as a symbol that is psychologically closing the door to an experience that is by far bigger than this one".

I feel an huge joy when I see them removing the symbolical ring from the "marriage finger" and placing it in any of their other 9 fingers.

But I said that I give zero importance to grades, they are just symbols and nothing else (I deeply dislike people who sign stuff on the internet with a baroque enumeration on grades as if such thing made them "special", they look like fools to me).

But I am telling the tale of the Ring because it's symbolical... We do not know each other, and you may take my advice or discard it:

Do not place the path you have chosen in the symbolical place that is meant to be reserved for your soulmate. That's truly a sad place to put the symbolical ring of the Tradition you are following. It may sound fantastic right now, but I am sure that you will regret it later.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJTAs5rrTA8

Feeling closer every day
Love is showing us the way
I can feel your attraction
We can feel interaction

Love me now-
Before you have to go away...
All is living - all is dying
Funny how we keep on trying
Moon - earth - sister - brother
Like them we have each other
Love me now -
Before you have to go away...

Nothing stays the same
And things changing every day -
Make it now - while we have time
To make it all the way...

Time for love is here and now
Love as much as you know how
A star shines- a dream shatters -
Love is all that really matters -
Love me now-
Before we have to go away...

JinRaTensei
02-07-2016, 09:55 PM
@ zoas23 just a quick response that I have read your post,thank you for our thoughts! I have decided that I will reply tomorrow to this specific post and take one night to truely think the ideas/concepts you mentioned through.
Because if I would answer right now I would sa something like I understand your sentiment and I am not closing myself of from love/relationships/soulmates I just donītīactively go out seeking and I donīt care if I find (hopefully ^^ ) her...but in my mind I already closed the topic as of no importance to me....it makes me feel uncomftable thinking about these matters so they are exactly what I should be thinking about next ^^.Mhmhm I think I donīt really trust women in general paradoxly not because of bad experiences but because of good ones.I am not really sure if there is love between partners and if its worth it or maybe I want to "punish" myself in being alone.Hard to say,yucky topic for me but I am interested if some "soul searching"/introspection will change anything in this matter,I will post the result tomorrow not that you should care just FYI ^^,thanks again!

zoas23
02-07-2016, 11:59 PM
Excellent if the ideas made you think. I am leaving tomorrow very early to have vacations at a desert for some weeks, so I won't be able to read the forum till late February.

JinRaTensei
02-08-2016, 12:13 PM
@zoas23 seems interesting.Vacation at a desert sounds like more than just the normal laying at the beach.Curious to know when your back if you used your vacation for some alchemical adventuring/exploring.
Thought long about what you said yesterday until I fell asleep.I had a weird dream and even weirder(for me) I can still remember the dream.

I was laying in a room with 3 beds and on one of them was my girlfriend.Then I wanted her to come into my bed but she hesitated so I said: I really do love you
then everything became blurry or I cant remember and when I looked at my girlfriend again she was neither in her nor my bed but in the third bed with another guy.I was utterly shocked and slept on her bed to at least smell her.At the next morning I broke up with her (she was very sad o0 ) and said to the guy I would kick hiss ass today not for the cheating,I would let them be happy together, but for the disrespect after I invited him in my house and gave him a bed to sleep...

thats all I remember.Strange thing is I never was betrayed or left in my life and I donīt think I ever said to someone(except parents/grandparents ^^ ) that I love him/her and I generally donīt feel threatened by other men in the slightest.So the usual route of interpretation,imo, doesnīt fit but its obvious that the main theme has something to do with a lack of trust/fear of betrayal...
Will think about these things some more,wanted to explore dream interpreting for a long time anyway

PS: I really donīt want to be the dude who always talks offtopic but somehow one topic and statement always leads to so much more and so many different topics and,imo,than these things wouldnīt fit in an extra topic for them because this would destroy the flow of a current conversation and take away from the creativity part or it is that I donīt think/care about such things when I am receiving/reading things I didnīt know before/saw in a different way until it is to late XD....so please forgive me I am aware of this and will change it,you all have been kind enough to overlook this long enough,thanks for that as well!

Awani
02-08-2016, 02:01 PM
I at first viewed showing love as a sign of weakness, being exposed. But actually it is the most powerful and empowering thing you can do.

Expressing love to family members does not count because people do that because of some built in rule that you have to. It is a subconscious motivation. But to show/say it to non-relatives is a conscious decision.

Also the reason I play BJ and Poker differently is because they are different games. BJ is a fight against the House. Poker is a fight against another player. And I think you misunderstood... I love chess. Just don't have anyone to practice with and I hate playing against a computer because they are too good. I want to win against my opponents best game so putting the computer on 'easy' is cheating.

This thread had derailed so many times now that it is beyond rescue. I guess the topic of this thread is "living life". ;)

:cool:

Awani
02-08-2016, 02:47 PM
@Zoas23

I am married and none of use rings. First because I hate jewlery and second because it is a sign if weakness (I do not say others are weak that use rings, just how I see it for me). We don't need the comfort of a ring to tell us, or anyone else, that we are together. We know.

:cool:

JinRaTensei
02-08-2016, 03:34 PM
We don't need the comfort of a ring to tell us, or anyone else, that we are together. We know.

two people sharing one life and love are a circle or ring in itself I would suppose maybe in that direction the reason for creating a ring through marriage could have originated before it became a sign of dominance and possesion like you say as in weakness


Also the reason I play BJ and Poker differently is because they are different games. BJ is a fight against the House. Poker is a fight against another player. And I think you misunderstood... I love chess. Just don't have anyone to practice with and I hate playing against a computer because they are too good. I want to win against my opponents best game so putting the computer on 'easy' is cheating.

did not want to say that you are wrong or a bad player in poker just wanted to share some of my thoughts which may could have been useful for you since you already shared so many thoughts with me.
I also hate playing against computers which is why I play online in a free chess community,the biggest in europe but still a german site so you find games at each time of the day in seconds. www.schacharena.de
If you have another site or ever want someone to play chess with just let me know,I love the game but still am not exceptionally gifted.

I at first viewed showing love as a sign of weakness, being exposed. But actually it is the most powerful and empowering thing you can do.
I can absoutely relate but although rationally I donīt see love or exposing yourself as weakness emotionally I still do no matter the facts or arguments.I guess it is about the experience and the insight/enlightening resulting from that.


This thread had derailed so many times now that it is beyond rescue. I guess the topic of this thread is "living life".
so to make it better in the future if like now I want to respond to somebody who is offtopic because of responding to others should I start a new thread and respond with a link in the old thread.Or should I respond via pm but thereby excluding others from the discussion.

I absolutely understand that getting offtopic is a bother for others who later read a thread and donīt want stuff unrelated to their current interest.But I also think that discussions will often scratch different topics since all is interwoven in each other.And sometimes the interaction of different topics creates new insight/question to the original topic.But then again to people who are not part of the discussion and flow of thoughts wonīt be able to relate and will be disappointed and confused of topics not related to their seeking.
would it help to mark such post clearly visible as being not of or subtopic or would it help to make a "dropbox" thread for every topic and more like a chat than a thread?Or is this one of these times where one canīt have their cake and eat it and I should just avoid any deflection no matter how interesting/important I personally deem it to be?If yes then if others go off topic should I not respond or respond just via pm to not further continue the getting of track?

Awani
02-08-2016, 07:05 PM
Yes good idea regarding the creation of new thread (in the future). :)

I'll look into that chess site. But I am very rusty. :-0

:cool:

zoas23
02-11-2016, 05:39 AM
@Zoas23

I am married and none of use rings. First because I hate jewlery and second because it is a sign if weakness (I do not say others are weak that use rings, just how I see it for me). We don't need the comfort of a ring to tell us, or anyone else, that we are together. We know. :

We are all different. We decided to use matching rings after a month or two of being together (and an identical tattoo)...

When I mentioned the ring, it was a metaphor... Since I wanted to say: "do not get married to poker or a spiritual path" (or, to be more precise, the experience of a spiritual path should not take the place of a relationship).

I have this "ring from an order"... I only use it during ceremonies of that order and then I leave it at home... I don't need a visible evidence of a grade in my everyday life.

As for the wedding ring, I love it... For us it meant a weeding symbol between the two of us... As opposed to a wedding symbol with something between us (a church, the state, etc). We don't know if we want a ceremony (either civil or religious) that involves a third party, person, institution, etc.

Re: The desert and alchemy: The vacations at the desert are simply because everyone goes to the beach... Whilst we decided to have vacations at a desert with a population density of less than 0.1 persons per kilometer... And no tourists during the summer. We are at the doors of the desert now, I am writing from a small hotel... The idea for the rest of the trip is to be in a tent. This part of the earth has the best night sky (the best visibility in the planet)... And the landscape is surreal.

Argentina has several beautiful places, but the beach is not one of them (they are ugly and overpopulated during the summer)... Whilst here its us, the mountains, the sky and surfaces of earth with amazing colors (red, green, blue and white).

I may explain it better once I am back. Using the cell phone to write is almost as impossible as having to write in Morse code.