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Cheetah Bunny
04-20-2016, 12:56 AM
Hey everybody! I hope you are all doing well and healthy. The last few weeks I've been having this empty feeling inside of me. Im 99% positive it is from detaching myself from material objects (cars, money, tv, basically the stuff everybody wants but doesn't need) and Ive been focusing more on God and breathing and emptiness and clearing my mind while still functioning in society. Ive noticed that I feel dead. I was wondering if you guys have any tips how to "befriend" this feeling, or even relate to this scenario.

zoas23
04-20-2016, 04:17 AM
Hey everybody! I hope you are all doing well and healthy. The last few weeks I've been having this empty feeling inside of me. Im 99% positive it is from detaching myself from material objects (cars, money, tv, basically the stuff everybody wants but doesn't need) and Ive been focusing more on God and breathing and emptiness and clearing my mind while still functioning in society. Ive noticed that I feel dead. I was wondering if you guys have any tips how to "befriend" this feeling, or even relate to this scenario.

A text I fell in love with (due to this same forum!):

"What do you think the Lord will say to that Servant, to whom with others he committed the care of his Household, and culture of his Land that he should gather in the Fruits of the Field, and take care to lay them up in his Store-houses: If he forgetting his Office, will with the other Servants take upon him the care of the Sheep, do not you think he shall receive of his Lord stripes for a reward? O unfaithfull and wicked negligence of his family-business! (...) Paul served both God and fervently in preaching the Gospel, yet nevertheless he wrought with his hands to get his Bread. Idleness is the Mother and source of all vice."

I am sure others will disagree with me... BUT I think you answered your own question:
Question: "The last few weeks I've been having this empty feeling inside of me."
Answer: "Ive been focusing more on God and breathing and emptiness and clearing my mind"

You are leading yourself to an extreme of mysticism that is not going to bring you any benefit, except feeling dead. So maybe the solution is not how to befriend this feeling, but going to the cause of this feeling... which is the path you are walking.

If you are forcing yourself to feel completely unattached to the world and keep your mind constantly empty... well, what is the difference between you and a corpse, except the fact that you breathe?

I like many magical traditions, one of them is the tradition of the Golden Dawn. The Zelator ceremony (the grade related to the element Earth) has a lesson that I appreciate a lot.

The candidate is placed between the two pillars of the Temple and is asked to enter the enter the Pathway of Evil... so he walks towards the left of the Temple, in the direction of the black pillar (Boaz).

But in the middle of that road, he is stopped and is told: "And the Great Angel Samael answered, and said: I am the Prince of Darkness and of night. The foolish and rebellious gaze upon the face of the created World, and find therein nothing but terror and obscurity. It is to them the Terror of Darkness and they are as drunken men stumbling in the Darkness. Return, for thou canst not pass by."

Thus he is returned to the place where he was, between the pillars again... and is asked to enter the Pathway of Good... so he walks towards the right of the Temple, in the direction of the white pillar (Jachim)

But in the middle of that road he is stopped and is told: "The Great Angel Metatron answered, and said: I am the Angel of the Presence divine. The Wise gaze upon the created world and behold there the dazzling image of the Creator. Not yet can thine eyes bear that dazzling Image. Return, for thou canst not pass by."

And he is returned to the place where he was again... So he is asked to walk between these two paths and once he walks between them is told:

"But the Great Angel Sandalphon said: I am the reconciler for Earth, and the Celestial Soul therein. Form is invisible alike in Darkness and in blinding Light. I am the left hand Kerub of the Ark and the Feminine Power, as Metatron is the right hand Kerub and the Masculine Power, and I prepare the way to the Celestial Light."

This ceremony uses a Qabalistic symbolism, but it doesn't matter if you like Qabalah or not... I simply brought it as a example because I think there is a FANTASTIC advice there.

The pathway of evil can be taken simply as a life devoted to what you describe as "cars, money, tv, basically the stuff everybody wants but doesn't need"... a materialist life.
The pathway of good can be taken simple as a life devoted to "focusing on God, breathing, emptiness and clearing the mind"... an ascetic life.

None of these paths is healthy... and there is a third option, which is walking the line between them... and understanding that if you hang around with friends or go to the cinema to watch a good movie... or if you fool around with a kid and play with him that the two of you are super-heroes fighting against a pillow that becomes a monsted that the two of you have to defeat... or you can listen to a silly song and sing it whilst dancing and jumping around.... and you are still doing something that is "mystical" and you may even have a good laughter whilst doing such things. Is such thing a sin? Of course not!

If you spend the whole of your days focused on "not-thinking", feeling the presence of God, breathing in harmony, trying to feel empty... it is hardly surprising that you'll end up feeling depressed, empty, without finding any reason to be alive, etc.

I love the songs by Hildegard von Bingen, specially when the singer is Meredith Monk:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EQnfX7AHg0

But if I listen to these songs for a whole day, I think that by the night I will need something like this:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-G8kBS7BLHI

Or, as Paracelsus stated: "All things are poison and nothing is without poison; only the dose makes a thing not a poison."

I am aware that other persons have a radical different view... but I think that excessive mysticism ceases to be "mysticism" and becomes a poison or the perfect elixir of depression and emptiness.

Why do you think that something good will come out of this ascetic path you are forcing yourself to follow???? Would your mysticism become tainted if you phone a friend and ask him/her to go to watch a movie and then go to a pub and chat about silly things?

Is anyone going to give you a reward for being completely unattached to the material world?

Cheetah Bunny
04-20-2016, 12:56 PM
Wow, you're fantastic dude! I cannot thank you enough for your words, and that story is awesome! I agree, excessive amounts of anything becomes a poison.

I chose this path because I thought with a clear mind with nothing to "enslave" me, added with prayer it would be easier for God to flow through me, have no mental blockages, but It only lead to emotional blockages (and lack of heart) :(. Its difficult developing a deeper understanding of the path between the two paths as I'm becoming more aware of it (and taking my sweet ass time understanding it).

LOL great song (path) choices !

Awani
04-20-2016, 03:26 PM
Emptiness is Nothingness. Nothingness is Everything.

Before you put food on your plate you got to clean off the old shit first. ;)

:cool:

Cheetah Bunny
04-20-2016, 03:36 PM
May you please elaborate psilocybe!??! you seem pretty stoked lol

Awani
04-20-2016, 03:42 PM
Thought I just did. LOL.

In spiritual growth and healing you got to empty yourself of all the shit before you can replace that shit with Light.

Before Jesus could rise he had to die first. So feeling dead inside IMO is just a natural step towards grander things. ;)

As for Nothingness being Everything I just mean that nothing exists, everything exists. It is the divine eternal paradox.

:cool:

Cheetah Bunny
04-20-2016, 03:51 PM
I nkow you did, its just a better way for me to learn and understand (for now) when ideas/truth are less vague. Interpretation has been bit of a slippery slope for me :/ Thanks for replying:D

Awani
04-20-2016, 03:56 PM
I understand you fully. But the reason the best replies are "vague" are because really no one can tell anything. Wisdom can only come from within the self. A teacher should at most just leave bread crumbs. And any teacher that is not a student: run the other way! LOL.

My wisdom is only suited for me. It can't really help you. That is why walking the path (any path) is a solitary affair.

But sharing progress and offering suggestions is always healthy. We are all on equal terms.

:cool:

Cheetah Bunny
04-20-2016, 04:15 PM
"any teacher that is not a student:RUN!!" I like that man, made me laugh. Thanks for telling me that though, a good reminder to contact my intuitive mind before the analytical.