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elixirmixer
03-01-2017, 01:53 PM
I thought maybe some of you guys might want to vent, I sure know I do.

Sometimes communities gather in 'AA' type meeting halls and talk about their feelings and their problems.

I think that my goal here in this thread, is to provide a space (no...) allocate a space for men to come and freely express themselves, their day to day problems, to seek advice from others about certain situations, or to just f****** vent!

I would like try and keep this loosely themed and focused on GROWTH so rather than, say, "I hate the mail man, because he upsets my dog" I'm hoping people will be constructive and try to use this thread as a way of turning it around to yourself and make a change in your behaviour"I dislike visitors upsetting my dog, so I made the back-yard more suitable so that I wouldn't need to be upset"

There are a lot of introverts out there, on this forum perhaps, that struggle with sharing their feelings publicly, that's fine. Duck off and stay out of the thread, I'm not interested on people's theories on "whether or not this thread is valuable". It's valuable to me, at the very least.

If you would like to participate, please announce so, if you would not like to participate, please refrain from commenting on men's personal situations and feelings. Your either engaged in the special men's club as a way of self reflection and growth, or your not. Those who are NOT please behave as such by NOT participating.


I'll start :)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have been re-introduced to fatherhood fairly recently and it's honestly been really hard. This child is soooo talkative in my experience and just loves to scream for attention. T'would be fine, but the particular frequency of squeeling goes right into my pineal glad and makes me want to smash things.

The other major problem I'm having is the mad/sad/worried/stressed out feelings I get when my daughter is choking on some food she can't chew up or something else stupid (today was a bit of a pine cone) it's upsetting, it makes me
Mad, and I look around for something to blame, and I quickly realise that there is not really anything to blame, it just happens, but this leaves me with depressing feelings, and makes me want to walk away and let my wife deal with it, which is a poor reaction, one I would like to change in myself, but I can't help feeling basically enraged with stress when I see my daughter choking on something, which, at least to me, seems like every f***** day.

Have we got many fathers in this forum?

I am enjoying the small moments I do have with my daughter when my brain doesn't feel like it's going to explode, and in fact it's not my daughters fault at all (don't think children really have 'faults') because my brain is so filled with stuff going on, that when the child is screaming it's just the straw breaking the camels back, or in this case, a 40,000hertz sound wave, obliterating any DMT crystals left on my pineal gland.

Sigh.....

So what can I do?

Stay away from loud baby..... Nope
Move out.... Nope
Wear earmuffs all day..... Tried that
Try to teach baby how to be calm..... Maybe...
Remove other stresses in my life that are causing brain strain...... Definitely a good start.
Avoid over-using technology...... Tends to make me frustrated, and vulnerable to baby attacks. (This one has promise)

Yeah, so that was my little vent/reflection session. I'm just letting you know that I'm not in the friendliest of moods, so if you intend to be a **** that's fine, expect it 10 fold in return.

Goodnight all, look forward to Man-ageing our feelings together (MODS: where's the love heart emotio-con? You know we all need to express more love right!?)

elixirmixer
03-01-2017, 02:05 PM
Just before I get some polictical correctness activist try to spray me with a huge feminine trip out, I've named this the special men's club because it seems
The vast majority (if not all of the) active members are male, and more importantly, women already have many outlets for their emotions. In Australia we have an absolutely ridiculous amount of male suicide.

This is my way of giving back to the Blokes (Aussie word for guys)

In saying that, I don't mind if women join in.

Awani
03-01-2017, 02:09 PM
Have we got many fathers in this forum?

I created a rigid schedule. Meaning that there are certain days and between certain times when my daughter is 100 % my job. This has solved any issues of the sort you mention (for me). That means during those time slots (whatever they may be) I am already aware of "when" they are coming, and "how long" they are. Because I know this nothing bothers me. It is a very simple solution. If you can make such a deal with your wife then give it a try.

Naturally I see my daughter outside these time slots, but we already have a contract that outside those time slots it is not my responsibility if she screams or whatever. I can leave the room and there is no issue with the wife because she knows it is her time slot.

For the record I don't have such extreme reactions as you do, but I understand fully the situation. So anyway without repeating myself too much a schedule like the one I have mentioned solved similar issues for me 5 minutes after the schedule was "set in stone". Just make sure the wife is fully on board and you both come to an agreed consensus on how much time each person is responible for. For intance I have 33 % and my wife has the rest, but that is because I work during the day. If I did not work we would have 50 % each, naturally.

:cool:

elixirmixer
03-01-2017, 09:23 PM
Yep, that's a pretty brilliant strategy Dev.

I'm going to give it a go!

A lot of my severe reactions are due to being too stretched out mentally. I think that these
'Time slots' will be very effective because if it is officially designated, then there really isn't anything to think about except for her! Brilliant!

What can't you do Dev? Lol :cool:

Awani
03-01-2017, 09:52 PM
A lot of my severe reactions are due to being too stretched out mentally...

Exactly. A strict schedule removes this utterly. But only works if both mother and father 100 % agree to it and it is "set in stone"+ is fair in terms of lengths depending on circumstances.


What can't you do Dev?

Vote. ;)

:cool:

elixirmixer
03-01-2017, 10:02 PM
Yep all done.

I've gt morning shift till 9:30 and then evening shift from 3:30 onwards.

If this stops my head from exploding, I owe you one.

(SEE! Men's club is the best mate!)

Awani
03-01-2017, 11:06 PM
Cool. Good luck.

:cool:

elixirmixer
03-11-2017, 09:08 PM
So I had to go to Adelaide to bear witness against the man that tried to kill me and extort my family. That was interesting, I got to learn how to court system works a bit more.

I got to see a whole bunch of people I love while I was in Adelaide which was good AND I had two famous Australian celebrities ask me to get them some cocaine and share it with them! I've never had cocaine before and I thought it woul be a great experience but I was late to our rondayvue so I missed out.

The dickhead trying to root my 15yr old sister-in-law seems to be going ahead with his character decimation lawsuit against me for calling him a pedofile on face book. That's pretty much the last thing I have to stress about.

I've been calming down a lot. Less want to save the whole world and more just focused on saving my little corner of it.

I've found some philosophical substances recently, this has given me a great sence of relief and hope, because soon I will have the Minor Opus, which I'm sure will do wonders in healing my body from the last few years of stress.

Good day to all of you.

Love ElixirMixer

Kiorionis
03-11-2017, 09:36 PM
Good to hear things are getting better, even though I didn't know you've been having things rough.

May the Force be with you!

elixirmixer
03-17-2017, 09:47 PM
My wife have birth to a handsome young lad.

We named him Sage.

And what a philosopher he will be!

Pro-creation. Yay.

:o

Andro
03-17-2017, 10:23 PM
If you want to publicly and periodically share the chronicles of your personal life, it would be in the better interest of maintaining forum and thread coherence that you start a blog (http://forum.alchemyforums.com/blog_post.php?do=newblog).

Aham
03-17-2017, 11:08 PM
Congratulations EM!!! That's awesome. Cool name. Get ready for a few sleepless nights. Oh wait... sleepless nights work perfectly with your alchemy schedule :)

Awani
03-18-2017, 01:44 AM
Congrats.

:cool:

Kiorionis
03-18-2017, 03:24 AM
Exciting news!

My brother is about to have a baby girl, but I'm sure being an Uncle doesn't come close to fatherhood ;)

Cheers!

elixirmixer
03-18-2017, 04:00 AM
The first day of double trouble has been absolute hell.

It sucks having kids without a good support system/family around to help you out during the tough times.

Great for the growth factor though. In my current condition I'll probably drop dead, so now there is a real drive to organise, priorities, focus on the important things and settle down.

That's great news Mr. K, that your brother is experiencing all the same exillirating joys that I'm experiencing :o

Andro
03-18-2017, 07:55 AM
"The Satiya tribe of Banjaras in Rajasthan mourns the birth of a child and celebrates when someone dies in the family.

The tribe believes that the life of Satiya is godís curse and a death is celebrated as the person is free of the curse after his/her death. Similarly, they say that it is due to godís curse that a child is born in the human cunt. This is the reason that they mourn the birth of a child.

It [birth] becomes an event of mourning and grief, with the new born receiving curses from everybody. The family of the baby does not even cook their daily meals at home on the birth day.

They celebrate when someone dies in the tribe. They wear new clothes, buy sweets and alcohol. The dead body is taken to a crematorium in a procession of dancing and twisting groups of nears and dears to the tune of drums. After the funeral pyre is lit, members of the tribe arrange a feast, consume locally brewed liquor and dance with vigor until the body is completely reduced to ashes."

SOURCE (http://www.tosnews.com/they-mourn-over-child-birth-and-rejoice-death/5489)

elixirmixer
03-18-2017, 10:21 AM
I can completely relate with that. That should be the norm. Not sure about the child cursing but at least they are demonstrating that their culture has a good grip with the reality of the situation.

I have felt a bit of mourning for these two poor souls I've brought into this competitive environment.

It's a bit sad that my main priority as a father at the moment, after educating, is to reduce suffering. Can't wait for a world where suffering is undefined

Andro
03-18-2017, 10:49 AM
I can completely relate with that. That should be the norm.

It's also a rather Gnostic view. The more 'radical' Gnostics would probably not even consider bringing a child into this world.

Some ancient tribes had similar practices as well (I think some of the Dacians/Thracians tribes). That Gypsy tribe from Rajasthan is the only 'current' one I could locate.

My 'question' though, if people practice such traditions (or even if they can only mentally relate to them) - why do they keep making babies?

elixirmixer
03-18-2017, 11:16 AM
Ahhh Gnosticism, the place where suicidal tendencies are considered a virtue! There certainly was a big enfosis on the self-sacrificial death, the absolute COMPLETE abstinence from all things worldy, including, well, everything, food, water, the desire to stay alive, you know, all those things we don't really need...

The baby thing... My wife and I were actually dead against it, because of the environment we live in, and the huge pressure we are putting on Mother Earth to sustain us all, but then the Mormons got us ya see.... My wife got all clucky because it's her 'divine role' to birth life into this shithole.

I must admit, she is a brilliant mother, and I'm not just saying that, she is a machine.

Yes, my recommendation, no children. Sure if you've already overcome all vices, and received enlightenment/exaltation, and you've got some spare time left... But having children puts a lot of pressure to be engaged fully in the third dimensional realm. Not good of your trying to climb Jacobs ladder.

I am hoping for the omnipotent universe to have some kind of judgment day, where all the good who were abused, all the lovers, all the self-sacrificing, all get their dues.

Andro
03-18-2017, 11:29 AM
Ahhh Gnosticism, the place where suicidal tendencies are considered a virtue!

Not quite so.

Taking one's own life via common suicide is pretty useless, as one still ends up in the 'Recycle Bin' - not something a Gnostic would aspire to.


if you've already overcome all vices, and received enlightenment/exaltation, and you've got some spare time left...

I honestly doubt one's priorities (in such a scenario) would be geared towards breeding.


I am hoping for the omnipotent universe to have some kind of judgment day.

Every day is judgment day, until one stops judging. Same thing applies to all planes - physical plane, astral plane afterlife belief constructs, etc...

We make our choices and the Universe reflects back in kind. But regardless what those choices are, the Universe/Multiverse/Omniverse doesn't care - and the same 'rules' apply.

Quoth Hamlet:


There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

Awani
03-18-2017, 09:08 PM
First of all who would not cry being born in the cesspool of this planet: India

I am sure there are worse places, but for most poor people the ghettos of India is probably the closest thing to hell - at least from my experience.

But I think there is great misunderstanding also. And sometimes mourning and happiness is confusing. Love can be painful and also blissful. There are many aspects to all these emotions. As far as indigenous tribes go MOST - if not all - celebrate BOTH birth and death... and in particular death is dealt with in a manner foreign to the Western Human. They generally view it more as a transition, rather than an end. As is birth in a way. Certain tribes even begin to celebrate the birth of a particular individual even before the mother is pregnant, because they know "it" is coming in advance.

Since I have experienced both birth and death and burial of a child I know that birth is a joy, and death is a sorrow... but it does not mean it is unnatural. Death is a transition. It can be looked at with beauty or with horror - depending on ones outlook.

Years before I had a child I was opposed to the idea, some of the reasons have already been mentioned in this thread... and I had a few others as well.

Now after I have gone through the experience of having a child it is a bit like the Logos. If a person has not had the experience it cannot be explained to them. But thinking about myself I must say that the views I had years ago regarding not having a child are complete rubbish. And for me having a child is a totally amazing experience that no human should miss... as is the psychedelic experience and the sexual experience. Certain things are the reason this realm exist. Why go here if you are not participating?

Those that do not want to participate will not end up here... so in a way anyone who is here and don't want to be can only - IMO - blame themselves.

"The wound is the place where the Light enters you."
― Jalaluddin Rumi

:cool:

elixirmixer
03-18-2017, 09:26 PM
Not quite so.

Taking one's own life via common suicide is pretty useless, as one still ends up in the 'Recycle Bin' - not something a Gnostic would aspire towards

Yes I do agreed; yet there is a lt of secret men's business in relation to (and to sum it up briefly) the 40 days in exile, a complete and utter purge of all things worldly, of which many considered a type of 'death' to occur, and the re-birthing of the spiritual man.

Now this really means separation, the subject of my anthology essay. Christ represents the work (as well as others) but they never mention the fruit of their labours, although if you read between the lines, we can see what was going on.

Now you, Andro are the best person to chat with on this manner because it's quite clear for me that your soul has already gone through the sacred ordinance of separation, because, you can already 'separate' your soul from your body and explore other realms.

The 40 days separation, IMO, is te symbol of the sure fire way to engage in this level of separation. As most of us are aware, astral projection comes easier to some than to other, however, the work of the 40 days separation, I believe, is a garanteed allowance into the other realms. IMO. While this is just my opinion, if you look at the scriptures that talk about the 40 days, it usually results in 'other beings' and 'I was taken to this place' ect...

This is what I really mean by the suicidal tendencies. The tendency to just 'let go'

Andro
03-18-2017, 09:29 PM
Now you, Andro are the best person to chat with on this manner because it's quite clear for me that your soul has already gone through the sacred ordinance of separation, because, you can already 'separate' your soul from your body and explore other realms.

I wouldn't make such a big deal of it. To some people, this ability to go 'out of body' comes 'naturally'.

Others, like myself, have/had to practice for many months until finally achieving it.

Others are interested but lack the time (or are too lazy) to commit to daily practice, and use the psychedelic pharmacopeia instead.

There are many variations and access roads and I'm not dismissing any of them, but none of them necessarily means that one has gone through some 'sacred ordinance'.

It's like taking the elevator in a building and referring to the elevator as 'sacred'. That's bullshit, if you ask me. Same goes for all the ritual and ceremony usually associated with it. If you need ritual/ceremony, you're still a 'tourist' and will most likely have limited or no access to the more 'restricted areas'.

Very few have what it takes to access the 'higher' floors, not to mention the 'penthouse suite' :)

The Inner-Net is 'huge', but not everything can be googled and good luck if you don't have the URL and/or the 'access codes'... No ritual or ceremony will give you those...

The vast majority of elevator-riders only get access to the 'lower' floors, which are ironically also the more richly 'decorated'. This is where you'll find all the 'gods', the 'mothers', the nature spirits, the various 'heavens' and 'hells' of different belief systems, etc... Again, perfect for the tourists... They LOVE their decorations, be they scary or seductive or anything in-between... And then the 'tourists' come back from the elevator-ride and feel 'initiated' or having undergone some 'sacred ordinance'... Not the case, IME.


This is what I really mean by the suicidal tendencies. The tendency to just 'let go'

Then I would say we are in some sort of agreement :)

zoas23
03-19-2017, 09:56 AM
I wouldn't make such a big deal of it. To some people, this ability to go 'out of body' comes 'naturally'.

Indeed... though the same thing is valid for almost everything.
Some persons are incredibly and naturally gifted for soccer... Others play the piano like a virtuoso when they are kids, etc... Some persons need more effort than others. Why? I have no idea.


Others, like myself, have/had to practice for many months until finally achieving it.

There are techniques, but they are hard to explain with words... It's a bit like finding how to trigger it. A way to get close to understanding how to trigger it is (I know it will sound weird): yawn, but keep the yawn for as long as you can... It is something that MAY give some hints to the mind.


Others are interested but lack the time (or are too lazy) to commit to daily practice, and use the psychedelic pharmacopeia instead.

... This is not limited to OBE: our bodies and minds can go further than any psychedelic can. Most people who finds a way to induce a certain state naturally (and OBE is just ONE of them) often have the tendency to avoid the psychedelic that causes a *similar* state.


There are many variations and access roads and I'm not dismissing any of them, but none of them necessarily means that one has gone through some 'sacred ordinance'.

They don't even have that function actually.... nor they make anyone more "special" or "powerful" (and I've had so many of them that I can use myself as a source).


It's like taking the elevator in a building and referring to the elevator as 'sacred'. That's bullshit, if you ask me. Same goes for all the ritual and ceremony usually associated with it. If you need ritual/ceremony, you're still a 'tourist' and will most likely have limited or no access to the more 'restricted areas'.

The infamous ceremonies (which I like) have ZERO power. That's the plain truth about them.
So you are both right and wrong.
A "ceremony" is simply a system created by a CONVENTION (arbitrary) which CAN be used as a tool. I would not compare them to an elevator, but to a language of symbols.
The word "Dog" doesn't contain the smell of the dog, nor it contains the barks of the dog, not it contains the life of the dog... And yet it CAN be used to evoke them internally.
The ceremonies are simply a convention of symbols which are used to induce something... but the "trick" is not in the ceremony itself. I would not discard them so easily... though it's important to understand what they are. The PROBLEM with them is when some people believes that they have an intrinsic power: well, they don't.



Very few have what it takes to access the 'higher' floors, not to mention the 'penthouse suite' :)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2IMxx8yyE0
English (http://lyricstranslate.com/en/haus-der-l%C3%BCge-house-lies.html)




The Inner-Net is 'huge', but not everything can be googled and good luck if you don't have the URL and/or the 'access codes'... No ritual or ceremony will give you those...

100% true... though that's not the SENSE of a ritual/ceremony... and those who practice rituals and understand them that way fall into the worst nightmares of self-delusion and weird obsessions.
The best metaphor is to explain them as a language... a language is simply words that define "things", but the word in NOT the thing.
The BIG problems begin when people believes that the words are the things they define... or even worst: that they can replace those things or are above them... which is not the case.


The vast majority of elevator-riders only get access to the 'lower' floors, which are ironically also the more richly 'decorated'. This is where you'll find all the 'gods', the 'mothers', the nature spirits, the various 'heavens' and 'hells' of different belief systems, etc... Again, perfect for the tourists... They LOVE their decorations, be they scary or seductive or anything in-between... And then the 'tourists' come back from the elevator-ride and feel 'initiated' or having undergone some 'sacred ordinance'... Not the case, IME.

LOL... exactly!

A quote I love from a book I love (Austin Spare's "Book of Pleasure"):


Some praise the idea of Faith. To believe that they are Gods (or anything else) would make them such-proving by all they do, to be full of its non-belief. Better is it to admit incapacity or insignificance, than reinforce it by faith; since the superficial “protects” but does not change the vital. Therefore reject the former for the latter. Their formula is deception and they are deceived, the negation of their purpose. Faith is denial, or the metaphor Idiocy, hence it always fails. To make their bondage more secure Governments force religion down the throats of their slaves, and it always succeeds; those who escape it are but few, therefore their honour is the greater. When faith perishes, the “Self” shall come into its own. Others less foolish, obscure the memory that God is a conception of themselves, and as much subject to law. Then, this ambition of faith, is it so very desirable? Myself, I have not yet seen a man who is not God already.

Others again, and those who have much knowledge, cannot tell you exactly what “belief” is, or how to believe in what defies natural laws and existing belief. Surely it is not by saying “I believe”; that art has long been lost. They are even more subject to bewilderment and distraction directly they open their mouths full of argument; without power and unhappy unless spreading their own confusion, to gain cogency they must adopt dogma and mannerism that excludes possibility . . . . . . By the illumination of their knowledge they deteriorate in accomplishment. Have we not watched them decay in ration to their expoundings? Verily, man cannot believe by faith or gain, neither can he explain his knowledge unless born of a new law. We being everything, wherefore the necessity of imagining we are not?

Be ye mystic.

Faith and belief are traps... destroying them is a good first step.

Awani
03-19-2017, 11:31 AM
The vast majority of elevator-riders only get access to the 'lower' floors, which are ironically also the more richly 'decorated'. This is where you'll find all the 'gods', the 'mothers', the nature spirits, the various 'heavens' and 'hells' of different belief systems, etc... Again, perfect for the tourists... They LOVE their decorations, be they scary or seductive or anything in-between... And then the 'tourists' come back from the elevator-ride and feel 'initiated' or having undergone some 'sacred ordinance'... Not the case, IME.

For me the above is a clear indication that you have no idea what you are talking about. There is a tendency to regularly comment on things you have no experience with (like psychedelics or having children). If you have no experience how can you form a valid comment? Sure we can have a theory (I have those all the time), but the way you write does not sound like a theory... more like a firm "knowing".

You write, in the above quote, "in my experience", but you have no such experience... so it does not make any sense to say IME* (at least if you reference psychedelics)... if you would have written IMO then yes, then it would be more logical. IMO.

As for the rest of your post there is as much truth to it as there is bullshit. Humans are individuals and there are real OBE practitioners and there are charlatans... there are meaningless rituals, and meaningful rituals. And there are tourists, and non-tourists. For every "real" person there are at least two "unreal" ones, which is just an estimated guess on my part.

:cool:

* If you, by any chance, base your IME on our ceremonies in Amsterdam then let me state that they have been extremely weak and far removed from what can really be created. Which is one reason why I don't want to do them anymore, because it is like taking a University degree and then going back to pre-school. For the most part it was nothing more than psychedelic tourism (although not for everyone involved), which is of no interest to me. It's like being an alcoholic and then suddenly gathering with a group of friends to drink water. LOL.

elixirmixer
09-08-2017, 11:57 PM
So, your trying to get some serious Vegi opus work done so you can share your greatness with the world, and the. The wife decides to ditch you with the kids and go on vacation.

Now, she's gone and sold you gold so you can open up the new blacksmithing company you've been planning for months, and then, she goes and starts an epic shopping spree without your consent and starts cutting into the business finances.

You've been left with the kids all week on your own, which she has never had to do the whole time she's been a mother, you make it to Friday, excited because the wife is coming home the next day.

But low and behold, the bitch pulls some stored up crazy out of no where and starts fabricating adultery paranoia, mind you, hole your 500km from each other and the house looks like the aftermath of a home invasion.

You want I skitzing your shit, but the bitch has $7000 of your cash in her hands.

What do you do??

How's that for a problem solving equation.

I'm breaking down guys. Need alchemical help. Has anyone got any good medicine? I need a boost and want to try something new...

Kibric
09-09-2017, 04:52 AM
I wish I could help you Elixir

elixirmixer
09-09-2017, 06:18 AM
Oh well ill just have to get into it when she gets back. No time for lab work ATM im afraid.

Thanks Kibric. Your sympathy helps with the venting process lol

elixirmixer
09-26-2017, 03:03 AM
So you know those mornings where you wake up with a hangover, can't remember anything, slothing through the day.... and then you walk out your front door to get into the car and then you realise that the reason you can't remember anything is because you were completely blotto behind the wheel and crashed your car.

It's one of those mornings.

Kibric
09-26-2017, 10:28 AM
fuck it