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coleen velasco
09-09-2017, 11:17 AM
Hello lovely souls,

I've been here for a couple of weeks but I still haven't posted anything. Every time I start trying to type something, I end up scrapping the idea. It's either something that's already been said or something too sacred to me that I can't share with the world.

This has been a problem of sorts lately. I am constantly torn between speaking out and letting things be - and the latter usually wins. But I think I want to change that this time.

I don't know what to write about but I want to share something from my journal in the past months.


I remember when I was very young, I felt nothing for the world. My body was decorated with cuts and scabs from playing outside but I didnít really have an idea of what the world looked like through the eyes filled with love. However, I did not feel fear as well. My scabs and cuts were trophies and embodiments of my courage in my youth.

I saw my mother as a human who constantly followed me and gave me things. I never really grew attached to her until later on.

One of my earliest memories of her was us in a white kitchen. I asked her about hell and she said only sinners go to that place. I remember my heart sinking. ďIíll miss you, mummy,Ē I muttered. She asked me why. To which I simply replied that I was sinner.

Her eyes widened and countered that I was still too young to have accumulated enough sins to gain entry and told me to go play.

All the love from this side of the world x

black
09-09-2017, 12:51 PM
Welcome to Alchemy Forums Coleen Velasco.

Kiorionis
09-09-2017, 01:23 PM
Welcome!

elixirmixer
09-10-2017, 01:50 AM
If you had the same conversation with your mother today, what would it sound like? :)

coleen velasco
09-10-2017, 02:26 PM
If you had the same conversation with your mother today, what would it sound like? :)

Hmm, I'd feel like she'd preach about religion still if I told her I was a sinner! Although, the concept of sins feel like a dream to me now, especially since I've heard this line - "There is no right or wrong. There is only how much a man can stomach."

coleen velasco
09-10-2017, 02:27 PM
Welcome!

Thank you!!!