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Awani
01-24-2018, 06:48 PM
I post this rant in the Shamanism section of the forum for good reason...

Sometimes it feels like I live my life with my foot on the breaks, because if I did not keep my foot there I would tumble into the the abyss of complete insanity. Of course this insanity I speak of is really very sane... the insanity aspect is relative, but in an insane world the sane seem insane. We have all heard this phrase before I think.

But even so, perhaps I would still be insane because I find EVERYTHING pathetic. Everything is annoying. Everyone is a fucking moron. This might sound like some asshole who thinks he knows everything, but NO that is not the case at all. Quite the opposite. The most pathetic, annoying and moronic thing with the world right now is the fact that everyone thinks they know shit. Nobody knows fuck all. We are like toddlers adrift in the infinite cosmos of chaos.

The trivial is what rules the world. The sinister and violent acts that are committed daily around the globe are ignored, apart from maybe clicking "like" or something. Social and cultural structures are funny, complete jokes as far as I am concerned. Governments, laws, regulations and religions are completely irrelevant. The fact that some aspects of the world are viewed as powerful is ludicrous considering that they have really no substance, no true physical manifestation (apart from buildings) and no reason to exist. And it seems most people lack balls.

All of the above makes life hard to live, especially when close friends and family also fall for these traps. I am aware, and somewhat skilled, in playing the game... playing along... in order to make it easy to proceed in this joke of life that society (and State) seem to advertise. But I really want to 100 % let go, and just dive into complete madness.

I want to piss where I want. Right in the middle of the bank. I want to lay down in the middle of Town Square and masturbate. I want to smoke weed outside a day care and watch the children play (and maybe join in). I want to be able to slap anyone in a uniform, with the same attitude as you would slap the ass of a donkey to make it move out of the way. I want to say cunt in my prayers when I kneel by the altar in the Church. I want to...

This is madness.

But it would be complete sanity and freedom, because freedom is living free... and I am not saying that I should be free to hurt or vandalise anything... the reason I just think it would be funny to walk into an Apple store with a baseball bat and smash everything is more from the fact that I feel trapped. I want to express the freedom to do what the fuck I want. If I indeed was free to do what I want, then I don't think I would have such an urge.

To have a free mind is great. A free mind can overcome a lot of bullshit, but it does wear you down when that freedom is restricted in the physical realm; a realm that is not real anyway. Perhaps that is why they say ignorance is bliss? LOL.

http://psytranceportal.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/230458-740x357.jpg

Nothing has value that can be bought. Nothing is important unless it has value.

:p

Ghislain
01-24-2018, 09:16 PM
Report to PETA.

I know a guy who would slap a donkey.

Ghislain

;)

Awani
01-24-2018, 10:14 PM
Actually it should be Madness is freedom...

:p

Amon
01-24-2018, 11:38 PM
Ignorance is bliss for those who can't handle reality. To put it in a poetic fashion, reality has a very strange and yet beautiful face, and one of her eyes is that of Medusa's. Looking at her straight in the eye could prove destructive for most people, as it will "petrify" your spirit with overwhelming horror and a sense of meaningless void existance.

You are actually free to act out all of these things you said, just be ready to face the consequences.
The thing is, the system is in place to supress people who are too weak to face reality. It keeps them distracted and provides some relief in the sense that "things are going shit because x,y,z did something" and renders the person blind to the fact that its his own behavior that supports and perpetuates this system.

Awani
01-25-2018, 12:39 AM
It is very hard to put anything into language for me these days. Looking back at what I wrote, and also reading what you wrote Amon, I sense that I conveyed what I said poorly. Although I have nothing against what you wrote. Those things are all "true".

What I was trying to get at was, and maybe this is too personal to be applicable in a forum setting, the notion that there is indeed a madness. If this is madness because of the way society is or not, I do not know. But it is not the kind of madness that cause harm in the sense of murdering, blood sacrifice or paranoia and so on and so forth.

Rather it is a madness that if it would be released, I am not sure of what would happen. Perhaps it is partly fear as well... because either I do something or I don't, so for me if I would ever allow this madness to run freely I would be lost. Not in a "bad" sense lost... just lost to the world, or to any "obligation" etc.

Hmm... not explaining well... let me try it with an example that maybe people "here" can relate to... if they want to sense the madness I am feeling, and have felt for many years now.

So let me put it like this:

It is pointless to have this forum. I should just delete it. What does it matter? Whatever is written here is only so others can read it. What does it matter if others can read it? Who cares about alchemy, or what other people think of what I write. It is all a joke. The true work, for me, happens elsewhere... it happens within. What good is it to be present at all. Etc etc.

This train of thought can be applied to anything in life/society. It might sound negative, but it is not. Or cynical, but it is not.

It is simply (for me) true. And these kinds of truth appear "mad" to others.

Hope that makes it a bit more clear.

Just ranting...

:p

Awani
01-25-2018, 12:50 AM
...just be ready to face the consequences...

To walk around naked should not, in a sane world, have a consequence other than your balls shrinking if its snowing.

:p

Kibric
01-25-2018, 03:51 AM
It is pointless to have this forum. I should just delete it. What does it matter? Whatever is written here is only so others can read it. What does it matter if others can read it? Who cares about alchemy, or what other people think of what I write. It is all a joke. The true work, for me, happens elsewhere... it happens within. What good is it to be present at all. Etc etc.

" There's nothing really to say " Philosophically


It is simply (for me) true. And these kinds of truth appear "mad" to others.

" Civilisation is a deception " Literally ?

Man is not in his true place. He has been displaced distracted and divided.
its a mad world by design, bread and circuses.

Andro
01-25-2018, 09:11 AM
Man is not in his true place.

Actually, man's true place is walking around naked, masturbating in the middle of Town Square, a place where all genders have balls and where the stuff that's not buildings is also substantially true :)


its a mad world by design

A design to serve what function?


All of the above makes life hard to live, especially when close friends and family also fall for these traps.

Close friends and family? Has the innermost tribe been contaminated as well?


Social and cultural structures are funny, complete jokes as far as I am concerned.

Isn't family also a social structure of sorts? Many animals only "familiarize" during mating season... Get the offspring going and get on with other stuff...

Perhaps "friendships" are also social structures? Maybe it would be better to call them "alliances", based on simple principles of value exchange?

If everything is a joke, why does it make life so hard to live? Remember "The Comedian" from "Watchmen"?


Nobody knows fuck all.

How do you know this?

I have my own "answers", but that's all they are.

However, we could make a cool NBA podcast about all this, but it would of course be pathetic, annoying and substance-less, just like everything else ?:)?

A good dose of absurd mind-fuck can work wonders. Just watched episode 4 of the new X-Files season... Highly recommended :)

Phony Fake News =x= Real True Lies

If you would walk around naked, would you also be part of the Fake Newds?

Everything =x= Nothing =x= Paradox.

Suffering is like a sine wave, consisting of perceived "ups" and "downs", "sanity" AND "insanity". There is no suffering without both.

Laugh until you cry. Then, cry until you laugh. Repeat.

And when you're tired of this eternally recurring sine wave, you might be on to something, which may end up being nothing after ALL.

Having a cookie (almost) always does it.

And physical pain, for some reason, tends to make everything seem so very real, all of a sudden...

--------------------------------------------------------------

Awani
01-25-2018, 03:36 PM
Well it is a paradox as well, which adds to the madness. Things are important and yet meaningless at the same time. And yes it could be a cool episode.

I wasn't thinking of anyone specific, more regarding the general mass that is society as a whole. Society is an entity, a bee-hive that has one mind. Within there might be individuality, but they do move in the same direction more or less.

Everyone falls for these traps, even friends and family. Some are small traps, some big. Nothing is free of contamination that reside within the contaminated realm...

-----------------------------------------------------

Everything is a joke makes it easy, except when you have to dedicate yourself to a certain joke because you know that would help you... even though you know it is a joke. It's a loop.

:p

Ghislain
01-25-2018, 05:55 PM
Everyone has two minds, the individual and the hive mind. That is why a lot of people
don't think they are coerced by the spin doctors, and that is exactly how the spin doctors
like it; we think like individuals and act as though a hive. ;)

Ghislain

thoth
01-25-2018, 10:53 PM
I think its healthy to dip into the subconciousness every so often.
Awani, what you are describing is almost like what happens in an Irish pub on a Friday night when a group of friends meet.

Its like an agreed alcoholic Eucharist, after which the subconscious of everyone is unshackled and allowed go on stage while the consciousness is encouraged to take a back seat.... and then in the morning the conscious mind is back in control. I dont see anything wrong with that at all.

Maybe alcoholic consumption is the only type of entheogen left - a remnant of an older entheogenic tradition which has mostly now died out.

A little bit of temporary madness might be a good thing ;)

Awani
01-25-2018, 11:32 PM
Awani, what you are describing is almost like what happens in an Irish pub on a Friday night when a group of friends meet.

LOL. I highly doubt that. Again my skill in conveying what I mean is appalling.


...while the consciousness is encouraged to take a back seat.... and then in the morning the conscious mind is back in control...

The madness I am speaking of require no substance, and it is as sane and as clear and conscious as anything can be... in fact it would be the height of supreme awareness. The problem with society is that it is DRUNK.


Isn't family also a social structure of sorts? Many animals only "familiarize" during mating season... Get the offspring going and get on with other stuff... Perhaps "friendships" are also social structures? Maybe it would be better to call them "alliances", based on simple principles of value exchange?

Friends and family is the only "sane" thing in the insanity of the madness of this world. But in my own madness "friends and family" might become afraid or worried about it...

:p

Awani
01-25-2018, 11:40 PM
I have been thinking the whole day on what I tried to convey in this thread... and no matter how I phrase it in my head it just sounds like the words of some asshole... or some conceited cunt... so sorry... I cannot think of any other way to say it:

I feel like I have to pretend to be more stupid than I am in order to make sure smooth sailing ahead in ANY situation I find myself in. Because the "sane" behaviour of a human being, what some call the norm, is stupid. Yes you can go outside the box... but not too far... not as far as I would like to go. Not as far as I am going in my solitude. Like I said in the beginning of this thread: it feels like driving with your foot on the break pedal...

And it is driving me insane.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X6WHBO_Qc-Q

:p

zoas23
01-26-2018, 06:26 AM
Actually it should be Madness is freedom...

:p

Weird... your first post is a literal description of different things that one of my closest friends has done. Each one of the examples is something he has done.
Then again, he is technically "mad".

I do not think he is "free". I know his greatest wish would be to be "not-mad" (but he can't... though it's like a sine wave, but not in the same sense that Andro explained which is different... a sine wave that goes from "acting in a more or less expected way" to "it's a good idea to get naked at the cinema, pee in front of everyone and give a talk about freedom")

Madness isn't freedom... and "mad" is not something you do, but something you are.
The mind of a person who is REALLY mad simply works different, but it is not more "free" than the mind of a typical neurotic (which is what most of us are).

Awani
01-26-2018, 10:21 AM
There are 2 types:

1. people who are mad, and classed mad by normal society... but are more sane than society will ever be
2. people who are mad across the board

I am talking about the first type. You are talking about the second type. Perhaps the difference between the two is being able to step on the breaks (to keep with that allegory)?

I think this thread has gone mad... or maybe I am?

Perhaps the feeling of madness is that I cannot communicate what I mean... language is in the way.

I give up.

:p

Amon
01-26-2018, 04:29 PM
I think i understand what you are trying to say Awani, but it is indeed pretty hard for me to express it as well.

But i think whats throwing people off is the word "madness". I think we can agree on defining a person as mad when he is "not acting in accordance with reality". For example when you try to slap a fairy that only you can see and only you can hear, and which is OBJECTIVELY, not there, then you are mad.

My experience of "freedom is madness" is looking outside the box in which society and the world functions and realizing all these other possibilities, which then in turn tempt you to indulge in, like masturbating in the middle of public square.

Awani
01-26-2018, 05:06 PM
Yes probably, Amon. And the masturbation thing was just an extreme example (although what is so wrong with dropping loads all over town).

When Nicolai Tesla "created" electricity he was considered a mad man. When Dave Chappelle walked away from 50 million dollars people accused him of being a crack head. Vincent van Gogh was committed in an insane asylum where he drew his most famous master piece. These are celebrity examples of people who follow their heart, and not giving a fuck about the rest of the world. Again these are also extreme examples. The same kind of behaviour is present in the small microcosmic decision of everyday life... you don't have to invent something to go against the grain.

I guess what it comes down to, for me, is sometimes I just want to walk up to some stranger on the street... grab him by his shirt and tell him that he should stop pretending to be an adult, or the very least not take it so seriously. Also other peoples behaviour and life is not my responsibility, and I don't have the right... but it would be cool to manufacture a few gallons of LSD and pour it into the water pipes of the government buildings. LOL.

There is a term in the black community that I really like, and what I really want to see in all aspects of society: keeping it real

There is almost none of that.

:p

Andro
01-26-2018, 05:26 PM
There is a term in the black community that I really like, and what I really want to see in all aspects of society: keeping it real

Define "real".

Depending on the definition, you and JDP may have something in common after all :)

Awani
01-26-2018, 05:37 PM
keeping it real


Not being fake or influenced. Being true to yourself and your values, but more importantly, being true to innate values that all people acknowledge as respectable. Not frontin, or inhibiting yourself or pretending to be something your not; but also not following dominant values that should not be acceptable. - source (https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=keeping%20it%20real)

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/BlindOblongCony-max-1mb.gif

I think this is the main reason Trump won and is so popular, amongst the part of the world that does not hate him. That is because even though he might not be 100 % real, he is still "keeping it more real" than all the politicians that came before him. I think many resonate with this. For the record I don't like Trumps politics, but I do like it when he "keeps it real"... like calling countries in Africa "shitholes". That's what he feels. Some of them are shitholes*, and yet it might not be the PC thing to say... but what is PC?

Speaking polite and avoiding how you really feel, and then behind closed doors make plans on how to fuck over those shit hole countries? That is pseudo-PC = 99 % of the world these days

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2259773.1434473507!/img/httpImage/trump-rich-0616.gif

:p

* often shitholes because the West made them shitholes

Andro
01-26-2018, 05:44 PM
innate values that all people acknowledge as respectable

Could you name a few?

Awani
01-26-2018, 05:51 PM
Could you name a few?

Compassion. Sacrifice. Etc.

:p

Andro
01-26-2018, 06:00 PM
Compassion. Sacrifice. Etc.

And do you think that ALL people acknowledge those as respectable?


I do like it when he "keeps it real"... like calling countries in Africa "shitholes". That's what he feels. Some of them are shitholes*, and yet it might not be the PC thing to say... but what is PC?

This is actually his very calculated strategy. The Donald has been studying NLP directly with one of its creators, Richard Bandler.

Awani
01-26-2018, 06:02 PM
And do you think that ALL people acknowledge those as respectable?

Well that is what people love to see in the movies. It's buried deep in our being... see The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell

If a house is on fire, and someone runs in (anywhere in the world) and saves three babies and then somehow dies from the breathing in the smoke, he will be VERY respected, a hero to that community. That is practically almost certain.


This is actually his very calculated strategy. The Donald has been studying NLP directly with one of its creators, Richard Bandler.

Yes, well that would not surprise me at all.

:p

Andro
01-26-2018, 06:10 PM
Yes, well that would not surprise me at all.

One of my clients in the US knows Bandler personally, that's how I got the info.

Not sure if I should post this on a public forum... LOL :)

But yeah, that's how some people roll...

I remember something from an old "Murphy's Law" book:

"The most important thing in business is honesty. Once you've learned how to fake it, you will succeed greatly."

Some people are professionals at faking "keeping it real" :)

Ghislain
01-26-2018, 09:23 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7rXlbHtcqM

Ghislain

Ghislain
01-26-2018, 09:29 PM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIVjYzUI9XI

Ghislain

Andro
01-26-2018, 09:37 PM
Now I see...

Ghislain, you're a time traveler and you have filmed Awani 6 months from now ! ! ! :)

(Only it's not a "performance"... When he finishes the "act" and goes home, that's where he "performs" :))

Awani
01-27-2018, 12:27 AM
Thanks Ghislain. Those two videos are PERFECT. Exactly.

That is what is needed. This is the expression of Freedom that appears Mad (to those that are still insane).

I am very happy he calls himself a Cosmic Trickster, because I have always thought the most interesting archetype is that of The Joker or The Fool. These archetypes are also heavily linked to the archetype of The Shaman.


Ghislain, you're a time traveler and you have filmed Awani 6 months from now ! ! ! :)

Could be.

:p

Awani
01-27-2018, 12:37 AM
Some people are professionals at faking "keeping it real".

One thing I have noticed is that if you do something well, and you do it often... eventually you become "that". So if you daily fake being honest, eventually you will be honest.

:p

Andro
01-27-2018, 12:41 AM
if you daily fake being honest, eventually you will be honest.

OR ...

If you daily fake being honest, eventually you start believing that you actually are :)

Awani
01-27-2018, 12:43 AM
https://papermag-img.rbl.ms/simage/https%3A%2F%2Fassets.rbl.ms%2F2550380%2F980x.jpg/2000%2C2000/FiVog0cpFMx32%2FP1/img.jpg

:p

Awani
03-08-2018, 06:12 PM
I have also noticed that the more deep I go into all this stuff, the more I alienate people. That people misunderstand me is nothing new, that's normal. One negative aspect, on my part, is that for some reason I don't have much patience anymore with people in general. This makes me appear as an asshole in a way I guess (maybe I am, don't know), but for example:

If I begin watching a series on Netflix and after a few episodes it begins to repeat, or it is not as deep/interesting as it was in the beginning or whatever... I turn it off, and I don't watch it anymore.

I tend to do the same thing with people. Turn off... and then look for a new person/TV-series. Why post in this thread? Well, there is a great freedom in this. But it is also madness. Or appears like someone is mad (asshole). My oldest friends are less than ten years, and I have lived way longer than that. Most people have friends that go back to childhood (at least a couple). I really have none. That is not a complaint, nor something I wish I had. It is just an observation of the abnormal way I tend to live.

I often talk about the importance of compassion for everyone, but that does not imply one has to communicate or spend time with everyone. Those who know me well, know that I have really embraced this notion of "let go". And I let go of people too. When you start to let go, then you let go of more and more things. I guess there is some sanity in minimalism, in a down-grade of the amount of components that fill a persons life (people, friends, family, work relations etc).

:p

Eshai
03-29-2018, 11:46 PM
I was thinking about what was said about society being one mind, with individuals within it. How society "moves" in, more or less, the same direction.

Before you can get out of the crowd, you've got to get to the edge of it. Until you can get to that "edge," if you can even define where it is, you're going to be sucked along with the herd. It is inevitable.

I know I'm in the herd. I see and feel myself being pulled along, pushed along,... going somewhere, but I have no idea where. I'm lost in it. If the "edge" of this herd were a physical place, I could find it. But it's not. It's some ephemeral state of being (which includes a state of mind).

Can anyone live in the herd (of society), and not live in it at the same time? Can one be free of it, and just visit from time to time? And while the herd and the edge of it isn't a physical thing... is proximity to the herd a factor?

Awani
04-01-2018, 09:27 PM
Can anyone live in the herd (of society), and not live in it at the same time? Can one be free of it, and just visit from time to time? And while the herd and the edge of it isn't a physical thing... is proximity to the herd a factor?

That is an excellent question and something I have been dabbling with for most of my life. The short answer is yes, however it is very difficult. And I think it gets harder the closer to the "herd" you are... so personally I keep my distance as much as possible.

:p