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  1. Peter Barnes's Avatar
    Peter Barnes -
    You are not alone, I also have this fear maybe its called death phobia, but it isnt irrational in my opinion, ll we know is life and thinking about not being here for eternity is a loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time and impossible to comprehend the idea of not being alive.
  2. III's Avatar
    III -
    Hi Eshai,

    Tantra very definitely delves into the mysteries of life and death. You might say that Shiva represents recycler. There are many in Tantra that are more specialist in the death area. THE ORIGINAL AMERICAN BOOK OF THE DEAD, by EJ Gold a few other books very much deal with life and death including a training course for reading for the dead.

    For that matter Tantric Alchemy is a very good preparation for learning how to die and be reborn consciously by learning to do it a piece at a time.

    Dying is like falling off a log. It's getting to that log that can be very difficult and painful. One only has to face all fears and accept one's self as one is. Clearing all those things seen so that one can be in the light all the time, if that is actually the desired goal, takes a lot longer and many many visits to the Eternal. You might want to consider the difference between the goals of a Yogi versus Alchemist.

    I have nothing against using psychedelics. They can be very educational. However, anything learned well enough to be useful from farther off than a level or two has to be remembered for a long time. The most useful information to find out is your next step or two.

    Each time you can let go of this specific version of your life and go into Eternal time, one can come back into the version that fits one best at that time reflecting any real changes one has made in the self. If one fears letting go of the specific version for whatever reason, one can't re-enter in a different version life.
  3. MarkostheGnostic's Avatar
    MarkostheGnostic -
    It is no wonder that the chemical notation for Phosphorus is 'P'
    I've enjoyed these:
  4. Eshai's Avatar
    Eshai -
    Thanks. The boiling flask is 3000 mL, and the glass piping and trap are the salvaged remnants of 1 1/2" drain piping from 40 year-old renovated laboratories. Laboratory plumbing now-a-days is done using resistant PVC.
  5. Salazius's Avatar
    Salazius -
    Very intersting, thank you for sharing. And also, nice glassware
  6. Eshai's Avatar
    Eshai -

    First, thanks for considering allowing me to participate/apply, but like you said in the linked thread, it's better if we get to know each other better first (and so I think your post requirement/essay is wise).

    So yes, if it goes well... perhaps next year. At the very least I would not be opposed to the idea.

    For some reason, I am slightly amused that they are called "patients." I mean this in the most innocent way possible. *laughs*
  7. Awani's Avatar
    Awani -
    Have you ever witnessed someone go the other way?
    Yes one guy became very afraid. He thought the Shamans were evil and he began shouting Jesus Christ, the next day he left. It seemed it was too much for him to handle.

    Are they sober during the ceremonies?
    No they drink ayahuasca as well (although just a little compared to the patients).

    Did anything ever come of this?
    Not specifically, but Ghislain went there and this fall I am going back with him and sleeveless. We are also having this: Alchemy Congress in Amsterdam with a Magic Truffles Ceremony

    But it would be too late for you to participate/apply... but if it goes well we'll do it again in 2015.

  8. Eshai's Avatar
    Eshai -
    It's okay, dev. Like you said, setting is everything, and my aversion to such things probably mainly stems from the settings I was in during my own experiences with them.

    I have read the thread you link to.

    I slowly turned around and crawled (for ages it seemed)...
    I know this feeling all too well. How time is perceived has been an interesting subject for me for a while now.

    Pure love and compassion came now easily for me, and it was an immensely powerful state to be in. So powerful that it completely impressed me.
    Just out of curiosity... Have you ever witnessed someone go the other way? Have you ever watched someone give fully into their fear and hatred while having such an experience? (99+% of the time this does not happen, because the body is weak and, for the most part, physically unable to unleash violence.) For me, love is an emotion I have come to dislike. Compassion has mostly just given birth to pain, vulnerability, manipulation, and weakness in general. I simply cannot understand how it can be conceived of as being something empowering. For someone such as myself, this fundamental difference in perception yields striking differences in my experiences while under the influence. I think you have some understanding of this, as you mentioned experiencing "insanity," and others near you experiencing "insanity" as well.

    As you said...
    Ayahuasca with a bad shaman could end up very bad.
    Without them (the shamans) I would not do it at all! They are the guide through the other realms. They protect and they shine the light with their voices.
    Are they sober during the ceremonies?

    Please don't think I'm trying to mount an argument against psychedelics. I'm really not. I have no personal experience with Ayahuasca, nor do I have experience with being in a positive setting. I have always linked my own internal anger (as well as the violence around me) to such drugs. So it is with even alcohol, which I also do not consume (except in such things as tinctures).

    So with that aside, what you've written has been very interesting. I can indeed see the potential.

    I would love to have you (and others here) do a ceremony in the Amazon. And afterwards have a conference about it all. Sure would be some interesting discussions.
    Did anything ever come of this?
  9. Awani's Avatar
    Awani -
    Not to keep bugging you with the same subject matter but psychedelics, especially ayahuasca (taken in the right setting with experienced shamans) can for sure aid you in your fear of death.

    I recommend: (if you haven't read it)

  10. Eshai's Avatar
    Eshai -
    Note: this pump is insufficient to distill ethanol using a rotary evaporator. My advice: if you are serious about vacuum distillation, break down and get and industrial pump.

    This was still a fun project, though. =)

    Further note: ethanol can be distilled in a rotary evaporator without a vacuum, providing you have a model where the glass motor neck can be removed (or a model where you can eliminate the motor coupling all together and go straight from the boiling flask to the condenser--though this effectively transforms your "rotary" evaporator into merely an evaporator). If doing this, the bump trap should also be removed.
  11. DonSweet's Avatar
    DonSweet -
    Excellent thoughts. Those that haven't reached this point, haven't truly broken the threshold of consciousness.
  12. Eshai's Avatar
    Eshai -
    Verily it was from his book, "The Alchemist's Handbook," that I received the idea. Wise words, to be sure. "Slow makes smooth, smooth makes good, and good makes fast."
  13. Krisztian's Avatar
    Krisztian -
    Oh yes! You wouldn't be the first to utter those words. When I first heard of the notion it was from the mouth of Fr. Albertus.

    Without it, one either makes a mistake or goes no where.
  14. Eshai's Avatar
    Eshai -
    =) Thank you both.
  15. Andro's Avatar
    Andro -
    Same here. I also consider this place my 'virtual home' and I have made some great friendships here (including personal meetings in the 'real world'), not to mention how much I have learned during my time here. Looking forward to what you have to share!
  16. theFool's Avatar
    theFool -
    Welcome here Eshai. I felt similarly when I came here too, to "make this forum my Internet home"; I haven't regreted it at all... May you find what you seek.