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Amon

  1. High School memories

    As expressed in the last input, i always felt as sort of an outsider at school thanks to the nickname "black boy" that i was given. I believe its this feeling of not belonging somewhere, that led me to later join a bully team who would mainly harass this mentally retarded child who had the bad habbit of eating his own snot. Despite the bad nature of the group, there was a floating sense of inclusiveness, in which i felt welcomed, and acted as enough of a drug to not let me immediately ...
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  2. School years

    After kindergarten, there came the time to level up to primary school. I spent my 1st year on a private school, to which my mother drove me everyday. This is the first time i remember experiencing a somewhat significant social anxiety. When i first sat down in that class, among complete strangers, i can clearly re-experience this distinct feeling of cold sweat and increased heartbeat, sharpened senses and the like. When the time came to leave, i walked outside the school doors and after one minute ...
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  3. Nebulous Memories

    Its hard to pinpoint your earliest memory, especially when you fail to recall the age during which it was recorded. As a result, i will simply gather all the fragmented memories from before moving to my current location.

    My parents were divorced, and i was staying with my mother and her side of the family. There would be around 4-5 females in the house with no males present aside from me. I was the center of attention at that point (until the age of 7 i think). My grandmother was ...
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  4. The Beginning

    I am in deep spiritual trouble. It has been months, possibly even years of suffering and yet i still fail to stand on my feet. No matter how much i think of it, it dazzles me how much of an obstacle one's own mind can be, in comparison to any physical blockade. It's about time now i pull myself together. Hopefully this blog will prove useful in my own development.

    Now then, how does one begin to resolve troubles of such nature? I believe the answer is by asking questions. The right ...
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