Eshai

For the better part of the past few years, my lab has been a storeroom. Here and there I've extracted some essential oils, but otherwise I have been stagnant in this area. Life shifted to the inglorious mundane... which is, for the most part, unfulfilling. The rat race--that which this very forum seemed to be operating in opposition thereof--is winning.

Hatred has always been a cornerstone emotion of my efforts. Prayer to some pantheist entity of the All offered temporary reprieve; offerings to the dark primordial gods of chaos yielded temporarily enlightenment (which then can hardly be called enlightenment). Either way, I ever continue to Hunger for something else. Some form of communion? I am unsure.

For all my efforts, study, meditation, experimentation... I know nothing.