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Thread: Argue the point not the person

  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
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    141
    I know this is an old thread. But as, in my opinion, as it is such a useful thread, I would like to bring it to the fore again.

    Being new to forums, I recently realised I am not heeding this advice, and it is something I should work on. Lots of great advice, I especially like the NLP part; people are always doing their best, believing they are making the best decisions they can, with the information they have available to them. I will regularly remind myself of this, and take it on board.

    I also realise that, unless someone is searching for a new viewpoint, it is unlikely I will be able to assist someone to think differently about a subject via discussion on a forum. Even if I feel it could benefit them. Because face to face, personal, empathic chats are necessary to be able to really get into something. And busting my ass attempting to do so on the forum, is only likely to be taken the wrong way, and cause me stress in the long run.

    If I have a different opinion from someone from now on. If I feel I would like to know more about their opinion, I will ask questions. If I believe something different, it is not really worth me talking to that person about it unless they are interested and asking questions about my opinion. This way, I should be able to get the best out of my experience here. And if I feel a need to share my own opinion on something, I can just share it as such, my opinion. This way there is no need for me to get into discussion over it, unless I would like to gain understanding of someone else's opinion, hopefully saving myself from pointless confrontation.

    Thanks to Andro for bringing this thread to my attention.

    Love and Light,

    Loki.
    Last edited by Loki Morningstar; 08-18-2016 at 09:36 PM.
    Distill fact from theory, fixate on inferences drawn.
    Upon which points does the mystery turn?
    "What's the matter?", one asks.
    "The universe is mental!", one replies.
    Know The Self.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    1,349
    Quote Originally Posted by Loki Morningstar View Post
    If I have a different opinion from someone from now on. If I feel I would like to know more about their opinion, I will ask questions. If I believe something different, it is not really worth me talking to that person about it unless they are interested and asking questions about my opinion. This way, I should be able to get the best out of my experience here. And if I feel a need to share my own opinion on something, I can just share it as such, my opinion. This way there is no need for me to get into discussion over it, unless I would like to gain understanding of someone else's opinion, hopefully saving myself from pointless confrontation.
    Nice post.

    Since the thread about the "Spiritual Alchemy Hoax" was reasonably locked, I will use your post to invite Axismundi000 to come to terms and accept this white flag:



    And let's "begin again" respecting each other, even if we have different views (though I think we don't even have different views). I take it for granted that such thing will be more pleasant for both of us (Axis and I).

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    202
    I think the "problem" Axis may have is behaviour of some members which could be viewed as virtue signaling although they had nothing to do with the first argument, despite of that probably not being their motive.
    It is exactly the same as me coming here and talking "for" Axis point. Even if I mean well it is just not my place. Likewise wanting harmony, peace and an productive athmosphere is somethig which seems logic and therefor advocating it should not be something negative but it is still controlling behaviour which I would not call fascist but I certainly can understand the reasoning.
    zoas23 you and Axis should just be nice to each other and find the things you can agree on!

    You see how condescending this can sound? Who am I to tell 2 adults how to deal with their conflict/discussion?
    zoas23 is right, imo, in the things he said and Axis is right, imo, in being pissed. This is why you both are not talking to each other right now because
    neither of you views his/her actions as wrong and thereby none of you is actually addressing the elephant in the room, imo.

    I want to state that I have no side in this and have equally high respect for zoas and Axis.
    Last edited by JinRaTensei; 08-18-2016 at 08:27 PM.

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
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    1,349
    Quote Originally Posted by JinRaTensei View Post
    zoas23 you and Axis should just be nice to each other and find the things you can agree on!

    You see how condescending this can sound? Who am I to tell 2 adults how to deal with their conflict/discussion?
    I do not see such thing as condescending at all...

    The argument/discussion between Axis and me has arrived to an unbelievable level of idiocy (from both parts) that makes the two of us say stupid things... and I KNOW we are both better than that.

    The suggestion came from me, though if it had come from you (let's pretend that it came from you), I would not see it as a way of trying to "control" me at all... This place is beautiful, the BEST alchemy forum there is... It makes no sense to me to spoil it with silly flame wars that lead nowhere...

    And the WORST enemies CAN end up becoming very close friends, which, in my opinion, is nicer and more productive.

    So my idea with Axis is: let's forget about who's to blame for what happened and let's begin again... Tabula Rasa and let's talk to each other being nice, kind and helpful. It's not even hard to do it!

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    202
    Like I said I have no part in this and I personally do not see you in any controlling way, so no need to explain anything to me further on. Whatever you two decide or not is up to you. I just wished to give my perspective on this as a bystander so that everyone who wishes can entertain another perspective on what might be a part of reasoning in this.

    I agree this forum is awesome

    Every conflict is like a plow which will thrust into the soil,shuffle through which is contained inside and dig up to the surface that what needs to breath and be touched by the light of the day. No matter what will sprout in the new ground it will be fertile.

  6. #16
    zoas23 I am happy to draw a line under all this and move on. All I ask is you refrain from obscene language towards me, if you couch your opinions in any other way I have no problem with them.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,349
    Quote Originally Posted by Axismundi000 View Post
    zoas23 I am happy to draw a line under all this and move on. All I ask is you refrain from obscene language towards me, if you couch your opinions in any other way I have no problem with them.
    A friend of mine, a psychologist, did an interesting research on the subject of what happens when a person is insulted during a discussion on a subject. His conclusion was that the IQ of the insulted person has a tendency to get reduced. i.e, that we become very "basic" and in most cases we reply something stupid too.

    What did we learn?


    Yeah! Let's just not do it again!

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