Hello! I have been reading the alchemy study book and I have been awakening myself i think its really frustrating because i dont understand whats going on all the way and im trying to continue reading, but i keep getting new ideas.

So as i tried to circulate my light thoughts in my head were coming to me and they were saying notice how in the book atum the egyptian god sounds like adam=atom who is thoths=thoughts father in abraham religions.

I noticed how the circulation or the light that i am circulating with seems to be of the essence of my eternal flame or something right? and so when i generate a thought and focus my awareness on feeling a part of my body or moving that light it is actually an atom so to speak???

Also the etymology of words has been causing me to awaken in slight ways or to ponder deeper on things. Its very cool but I feel i am diving to deep into it because i am trying to escape reading and id rather find a way to just download information through meditation and in the astral planes.

which is cool to cause from an evolutionary basis we as humans are wasting our time by re+adding stored memories we already know how to do deep down so is it that if we did do that or "sell your soul" to learn all the arts just by being in tune with nature would it cause a backlash or is it safe so long as we know what we are doing?